January 01, 2009

109 in 2009

109 resolutions in 2009. Some are silly, some are serious, but I'm going to give them all a shot.

1. Take someone's picture for hire.
2. Go to an away Viking game.
3. Start volunteering at church.
4. Put together a scrapbook about our wedding.
5. Finish the scrapbook from Romania... where I went in 2006.
6. Figure out where in the Twin Cities we want to buy a house.
7. Find a good Mexican restaurant up here.
8. Visit Minnesota's North Shore.
9. Walk 300 miles over the course of the year.
10. Go to Siesta Key with my family.
11. Eat more vegetables.
12. Read 50 books.
13. Roll my old 401k and 457b into an IRA.
14. Update here at least once a week.
15. Go to karaoke.
16. Host out-of-town friends at our house in Minnesota at least once!
17. Take THE shot at the Minnesota State Fair.
18. Walk a half marathon.
19. Learn how to make a good dinner without help!
20. Hang stuff on our walls.
21. Save money for a new lens.
22. Send birthday cards to everyone in my address book.
23. Call my dad more often.
24. Get into the habit of daily quiet time.
25. Take the dogs on a long walk at least weekly.
26. Participate in the 100 push ups challenge.
27. Go to the Gophers/Ohio State game in the new Gopher stadium.
28. Master the "expert" level on Guitar Hero drums.
29. Use our china.
30. Launch my photography site.
31. Fit back into my favorite jeans.
32. Go to a dermatologist for a skin screening.
33. Visit Atlanta.
34. Find more people to sponsor Compassion International children.
35. Beat my husband at Scrabble.
36. Floss my teeth every day.
37. Change my name on my passport.
38. See the Grand Canyon.
39. Visit Stillwater, Minnesota.
40. Write in my paper journal consecutively for at least a month.
41. Find a hair stylist in Minnesota.
42. Fix the Vista/Photoshop CS3 on my new laptop.
43. Give regularly.
44. Clean my kitchen every night before bed.
45. Pick up the house for 15 minutes each week night.
46. Read the Sunday paper.
47. Go camping.
48. Run an agility course with Scout.
49. Swim in our lake under a full moon.
50. Sing karaoke.
51. Eat roasted corn at The Fair.
52. Build a snowman.
53. Take baths.
54. See a show at the Guthrie.
55. Go on a Twin Cities Flickr photowalk.
56. Kiss my husband goodbye every morning.
57. Stick to my 2009: Year in Photos project.
58. Get a massage.
59. Get monthly pedicures in the summer.
60. Learn how to use our gas grill.
61. Spend less.
62. Close paid off credit cards.
63. Get my ring cleaned.
64. Read the entire New Testament.
65. Memorize a verse of Scripture per week.
66. Pay for the car behind me in a drive thru line.
67. Go on a 20-mile bike ride.
68. Visit my new niece or nephew in July!
69. Organize our home office.
70. Go one month without fast food.
71. Give my husband a compliment every day.
72. Send flowers to someone.
73. Get paid for writing.
74. Do a puzzle.
75. Mow the yard on our riding mower.
76. Decide what to do with my wedding dress.
77. Take a decent picture of all four dogs together.
78. Organize my digital files.
79. Celebrate our first anniversary in style.
80. Establish a skin care routine that works.
81. Be grateful every day.
82. Stick to my weekly cash allowance.
83. Get 100% on the vocals on "Heartbreaker" on Guitar Hero.
84. Swim in the ocean.
85. Improve my job situation.
86. Tweet on Twitter daily.
87. Paint the bathroom.
88. Plant a garden.
89. Watch Band of Brothers series.
90. Learn how to cross country ski.
91. Take the dogs to a dog park monthly.
92. Drink more water.
93. Live in the moment.
94. Have dinner by candlelight.
95. Write down some of my grandmother's stories.
96. Scan in old family photos.
97. Pay off $X amount of debt.
98. Write a short story.
99. Walk barefoot in the sand.
100. Have people over for dinner.
101. Get pregnant or figure out why I'm not.
102. Get my hair cut at least quarterly.
103. Pay for Starbucks only with cash or a gift card.
104. See fireworks on the 4th of July.
105. Turn 33 and be happy about it.
106. Swim laps in the lake.
107. Use eye cream daily.
108. Remember every day that God is control, and that He works all things for good. (Romans 8:28.)
109. Update this list throughout the year.

Posted by hannah at 08:34 PM

December 20, 2008

2008: Year in Review

It's that time of year!
2005
2006
2007

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before? Got married!

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Last year I said "To fit into my wedding dress." Which I did (beautifully, if I do say so myself), except... it is still 2008 and I would not even come close to fitting into it today, so this one was basically a wash, yes? For 2009 I just want to be healthy, in all ways.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Yes! Not as many babies as 2007, but T had Sylvie in March and Sarah gave birth to MB in August. And Aaron's cousin is due to deliver on Dec. 29, so she'll just make it in!

4. Did anyone close to you die? Yes. My maternal grandmother (and last living grandparent) in May, and my paternal uncle in October. 2008 decided to hit me on both sides on that one.

5. What places did you visit? I didn't travel as much in 2008 (blessedly). Went to Florida for wedding planning, and the wedding. Visited (sob!) Atlanta in October.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? To be debt free! (It's a long road.)

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? May 2, our wedding day. May 13, MeMe died.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? I planned a really beautiful wedding!

9. What was your biggest failure? I haven't been as good of a wife as I thought I would be. I'm working on it! I allowed myself to gain a lot of weight and to get really out of shape.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? No, thankfully.

11. What was the best thing you bought? I got a new lens for my camera, and I've enjoyed it. Problem is, I want more!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Aaron! He is the best.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? The election was really draining. Unfortunately, in Minnesota, it's not over. I still can't believe Al Franken might be our senator. Ugh.

14. Where did most of your money go? In the first half of the year, wedding. After the wedding we threw a lot toward our debt.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? The wedding, of course! Also, the NKOTB reunion tour.

16. What song will always remind you of 2007? "Heavenly Day" by Patty Griffin. It's the song we used for my bridal processional. Earlier in the year, Aaron had sent me a link to the YouTube video and said, "I've watched this 10 times today thinking of you."

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Both. It's been a hard year, but also a wonderful year.
b) thinner or fatter? So much fatter. I don't know how I let this happen. (See sad year.)
c) richer or poorer? I'm richer, but marrying me made my husband a lot poorer!

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Saving.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Spending.

20. How did you spend Christmas last year? Same way I’ve spent every other Christmas, with my mom and family at my parents’ house. We have brunch, open presents and then head over to my Aunt Jane’s for dinner and dominoes.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008? I fall more in love every day.

22. What was your favorite TV program? Still The Office!

23. What did you do for your birthday in 2008? A bittersweet birthday this year. Aaron rented a gazebo at a park near our house, and we cooked out and went swimming, and invited his family. But I had no one to invite. Making friends in your 30s is not easy.

24. What was the best book you read? Like the rest of the Internet, I read (and loved/hated) the Twilight series.

25. What did you want and get? A new lens.

26. What did you want and not get? There were a few things, but I am learning to trust in God's timing.

27. What was your favorite film of this year? We didn't see many movies this year!

28. Did you make some new friends this year? No! I need to make new friends.

29.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Local friends, for sure.

30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? Holy cow, none of my pants fit.

31. What kept you sane? Aaron.

32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? I really like Viking Jared Allen. He's an awesome player, he donates money to juvenile diabetes every time he makes a sack (plus he's the leading sacker in the NFC), and he has a great sense of humor.

33. What political issue stirred you the most? Like most Americans, the economy.

34. Who did you miss? Oh, everyone.

35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
Surrender is hard. The hardest thing for anyone to do, I believe. But the rewards are great. (I would say I'm still learning this.)

Posted by hannah at 12:20 PM

December 19, 2008

Little Things

I am really missing my friends today. The holiday season was always so much fun at my former workplace -- lots of lunches and Secret Santas and parties. And always lots of goodies, sent from volunteers and vendors and coworkers. A veritable smorgasbord, as Templeton might say.

Right now I'm laughing at pictures on Flickr of my old work friends wearing ugly Christmas sweaters. They look good doing it.

And it's hard to not feel a little bit sorry for myself, so far away in this bitterly cold place, where I have dogs for friends.

But then I looked out the window at Scout, running at breakneck speed around the yard, thrilled with the cold and the snow beneath her feet, and my heart grew three sizes.

Scout finds the joy in all seasons, in every day. I used to laugh at how much excitement would bubble out of her when she found the perfect stick to toss and catch and run around with, until one day it sort of struck me: when do I express that much happiness about anything ever?

And I realize she is just a dog, and (probably) not capable of complicated emotions and reason, but maybe that's better. She doesn't analyze what did he mean when he said this or what does it mean if I feel this?

Scout is happy each and every time she sees Aaron or me. Her ears perk up and her tail starts thumping rapidly and there's a lesson there, isn't there?

Life is short. The older you are, the shorter it gets, after all. The time to find joy in the little things is now.

Posted by hannah at 10:56 AM

December 12, 2008

Compassion Kids Continued

This week kind of got away from me, so I will just go ahead and introduce you to the remaining Compassion children who are in need of sponsors.

I'd also forgotten that I'd requested only seven packets from India, and asked for three from Ethiopia as well. And I'm actually only listing two of those, because one stole my heart already!

Ethiopia:
Abush - Male, 7 years old
Shalom - Female, 5 years old

India:
Ajay - Male, 7 years old
Dharmender - Male, 7 years old
Ajay - Male, 3.5 years old
Prakash - Male, 8.5 years old
Essakkithai - Female, 7.5 years old

If you're interested in sponsoring any of these children - a $32 per month commitment - please e-mail me at hannah@hannahbeth.com.

As fate (God!) would have it, I got letters from both our sponsored children this week. R told me about her lessons and a singing competition they had at church. P send me a thank-you note for the birthday gift we sent him, and told me about the neat gifts his family was able to get for him. It was a sweet reminder why I am part of Compassion - for these individual children who pray for us as we pray for them. For their future and the futures of their communities. And, as in everything, we do it for the Kingdom.

Posted by hannah at 08:37 PM

December 08, 2008

Compassion Kids 1 & 2

I received 10 packets from Compassion International today. Each one represents a child in need of a sponsor. For the next five days, I'll introduce you to all of them. If you're interested in becoming a Compassion sponsor, e-mail me at hannah@hannahbeth.com. To learn more about what Compassion is all about, visit them at www.compassion.com.

Sudali was born on June 5, 2001. She lives in India, and makes her home with her mother or father. Buying or selling in the market and running errands are her household duties. Her father is sometimes employed and her mother maintains the home. She has six siblings. Rolling a hoop and art are her favorite activities.

Pathrakali was born September 2, 2000, and lives in India. She lives with her mother and father. Her father is sometimes employed, and her mother maintains the home. She has two siblings. Pathrakali enjoys playing house and playing games, and attends church regularly. She is in primary school.

Because of sponsorship, these young girls will have new opportunities to learn and grown physically, mentally and spiritually.

If you're interested in sponsoring Sudali or Pathrakali (or any other Compassion children), send me an e-mail with your name and mailing address, and I will forward you a packet!

Posted by hannah at 07:00 PM

December 05, 2008

A Friday Night

Because we got all of our decorating finished last weekend, we have nothing on the docket for tomorrow. This is the first Saturday in a long time where that's the case, and we're both super excited to just do as we please.

It's snowing right now -- big, fat, wet snowy flakes -- and I expect by tomorrow morning there will be several inches accumulated. I am so looking forward to going to the park with the dogs to play and take pictures.

There was a while there when I just wasn't that interested in picking up my camera, but luckily that phase has passed.

Aaron's cousin is due with her second baby in a few weeks, and I am antsy at the thought of going over there and getting some brand new, curled-up sleepy baby photos.

I'm starting to feel more at home here every day, and for that I am glad. I've been unplanted for too long.

Posted by hannah at 09:25 PM

December 02, 2008

Compassion

Aaron and I sponsor two children who are enrolled in Compassion International projects in India.

One day in the Buckhead Church resource center, a child's packet caught my eye. She had a sweet smile, and she lived in northern India. She was also born one month to the day before my cousin's twin children from India. It didn't seem like a coincidence.

About six months after that another packet caught my eye. Sweet P lives in Southern India, and shares a birthday - down to the year and day - with my cousin's third child. I immediately grabbed that packet and sent off to sponsor P as well.

A few times a year I get sweet letters from them. P is too young to write his own, so they're written by a leader in his Compassion Project, and P adds drawings on the back. R writes about school and her chores, and they both always mention that the pray for us.

It's the best thing I do.

This Christmas I signed up to find sponsors for 10 more children from India. If you're interested in learning more about Compassion, or would like to sponsor a child, send me an e-mail!

Posted by hannah at 10:57 PM

November 30, 2008

A Sunday Night

Right now I am sharing the couch with two Bulldogs and Scouters. Aaron is at the Vikings/Bears game, where I should be too, but I opted out. A 7:15 p.m. kick-off was just too late for me after such a busy weekend.

On Thanksgiving Day we traveled to the South suburbs to his aunt and uncle's to spend the holiday with his entire maternal side of the family. I met his three cousins and their spouses and children, and of course we played a lot of Texas Hold 'Em. I'd never played poker till I met A and his family. His grandfather, a former Golden Gloves boxer, is a card man, and it's a hobby he passed on to his four kids. It's always a fun time, but it's a little unnerving when you're the only one left in with Grandpa and he goes all in and you have to take him out. Sorry Grandpa.

We dubbed Friday our day of fun, but it ended up being a day of work, as we cleaned the house and pulled all our Christmas decorations out of storage and unpacked and sorted it all. That night we drove back down south, where one of A's uncles treated everyone to dinner at Maggiano's. It worked out that we sat at a table with the cousins we didn't sit with the day before, so I felt like I really had a chance to get to talk with everyone.

On Saturday went over to my father-in-law's where we had a second Thanksgiving meal with my FIL's inlaws. They are definitely foodies, so the meal didn't disappoint. Aaron and I provided the turkey (courtesy of Aaron's company), and my FIL brined it for three days and butterflied it. It was ridiculous. At my request, my husband made his famous mac and cheese, which was a big hit as always. It is no diet food, but I don't even care.

After dinner we stopped by a tree farm and picked out a beautiful seven-foot Fraser Fir. It now sits in our living room decorated and lovely. My mother has taught me many, many things, but one of the things I am happy to have learned well is how to put lights on a tree. It's a skill you only need to employ once a year, but it's a nice skill to have.

The only disappointment of the weekend is that I have yet to have my annual Gingerbread Latte. But I plan to rectify that soon, I promise!

Posted by hannah at 08:27 PM

November 26, 2008

Giving Thanks

In so many ways 2008 was the best year, but also the hardest. I got married, but then I had to move away from the city, the job, the church and the friends I loved. But even up here in the frozen tundra, there is still so much to be thankful for.

• My husband. Marriage has been so much harder -- but also so much more amazing -- than I'd planned. He is a saint.

• Facebook. Seriously, because without it I don't know how I would stay in touch with my Atlanta friends. (Or any of my other friends -- silver or gold! -- for that matter.) It's been a real blessing.

• My MATH ladies. Up here in this land where I have no friends, they have been my anchor and touchstone. I couldn't have gotten through these past 200ish Minnesota days without them.

• Molly Beth. Sometimes when I think about her I get a little teary.

• The dogs. (All four of them.) Even though sometimes I promise you that they are going to drive me insane, they are great fun and sweet companions. And Aaron and I like to make up songs about them.

• My parents. (Again, all four of them!) For many reasons, but this year I am specifically grateful to them for the wedding. It was a dream, and a dream that was only possible because of their generosity.

• The wedding! It was -- in a word -- perfect. I got to get married next the ocean and have a party in a big, pink palace. I sometimes still can't believe it.

• Honeymoons!

• Puppies. Who wouldn't be thankful for puppies?

• Hot chocolate. Especially when my husband makes it on the stove with steamed milk and gives me extra Cool Whip.

• Starbucks, particularly the ones with a drive thru. (And even though the Starbucks near my house is one of the 600 that closed, I can't stay mad at them.)

• The New Kids reunion tour. Floor seats and getting to go to that show for with my Mo = priceless.

• Minnesota. It's a pioneer land, but I will conquer it and make it my home. (Scout already owns it.)

• First, last and always, I am thankful for salvation, and the fact that His mercies are new every morning. I need it.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. May you always remember to be grateful, and may you get to eat a lot of turkey and gravy. (I plan to!)

Posted by hannah at 10:56 PM

November 16, 2008

Quickly

For weeks I've been saying, "I need to update my site." But I either forget to log on, or the things I want to write about go too quickly out of my mind.

So because I'm feeling slack, here's a quick update about what's been going on.

1. We finally found a church we plan to attend regularly. This morning we sang two songs that are special to me, and for the first time since I left Atlanta, I really felt at home in a church.

2. It has snowed a few times now, but not enough to stick around.

3. We're going to Ohio for Christmas, and I can't wait.

4. The dogs are near by as always. Right now all of them but Julie are sleeping next to me on the couch.

5. I finally figured out how to put up the highlights clip from our wedding video. (It's posted to my Facebook page.)

6. We've been married for six months. I can't believe how fast it's going!

Posted by hannah at 08:41 PM

September 16, 2008

A Weekend In Pictures

Softball, Vikings and life in Dogville. That pretty much sums it up.

Posted by hannah at 03:50 PM

July 19, 2008

To Recap

As I was reading through this site last night — as I do from time to time — I realized that I there are some pretty big holes. Married? Minnesota? Four dogs? I'd sort of neglected this site in lieu of Flickr, and in doing so I skipped documenting not a few major events.

So, to recap. . .
In January 2007, I met a guy at the Piedmont Dog Park.

We fell in love.

He had (has!) two English Bulldogs.

In Spring 2007 he moved back to his home state of Minnesota. And thus began a lot of traveling.

On August 4, 2007, we got engaged.

I started planning a wedding at the Don CeSar in St. Pete Beach, Fla.

And preparing to quit my job, sell my house and move to Minnesota.

There were bridal showers.

And lots of "last ofs" (I really miss Taqueria del Sol.)

Oh, and did I mention the Viking tailgating?

On May 2, we got married.

We honeymooned (mini-mooned!) at the Don.

On May 11, we arrived in Minnesota along with Scout and Montego.

I stayed home for a month or so, setting up house and getting settled.

On June 9, I started working. (Boo.)

And... here we are.

Posted by hannah at 01:36 PM

July 05, 2008

Notes from Minnesota II

Aaron got up at 6:30 a.m. to go fishing. Or as he says, catching. His friend Roger found a hidden little lake near his house that has huge bass and is rarely fished. It's their little secret.

There was a mini triathlon this morning in the park behind our house, so I took my towel and my camera and watched for awhile. I got over there right as the first finisher crossed the line, somewhere around 56 minutes. It would take me 45 minutes probably just to run the 3 miles, let alone swim 3/4 mile and bike 15! I sat in my little camping chair and kept my sunglasses on to hide the tears filling my eyes as I watched runner after runner bring it in. Their husbands, wives, kids, parents lined the course yelling their names, telling them they only had a few more yards to go. There is something about races that brings out the best in us. We encourage. We cheer. We push ourselves farther than we think we can. It's inspiring. I almost really started crying when a 13-year-old girl approached the finish line with her dad right next to her. His eyes were focused only on her; he was in her ear telling her to kick it, to go strong. What's a better metaphor for life than a race? It's long, it's hard, but you have to just keep going and finish as strong as you can.

There is something so exquisite about a lazy Saturday with nothing on the agenda. All the windows are open and breezes come through and I have laundry going and an empty dishwasher. The dogs are all underneath the ottoman; Eller fell asleep on his bone. Chewing is just so exhausting.

My mom is coming to visit in August, and she can't get here soon enough. I'm homesick in the worst way. Being married is great. I like my job (even though I hate the commute) and I like the house and living in such a beautiful place. But I miss my friends in a wicked way. Sarah is nearing the end of her pregnancy, and even though we e-mail every day and I get to see her belly pictures on Flickr, when I think about that baby girl and how I won't get to see her be born, or visit in the hospital, it's almost more than I can take. Sarah and I lived only a few miles apart, so in a different life, I would have likely spent many evenings with them. Heart break!

I think a lot about the day I will become a mother. It's weird, in some ways I feel like I already am, I just don't have any kids yet.

Posted by hannah at 11:25 AM

December 23, 2007

2007 In Review

Might as well make it a hat trick!
2005
2006

1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before? Got engaged!

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Did I make any last year? I don't think so. This year I just want to fit into my wedding dress!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? 2007 brought seven new babies: My friend Catherine had Jeffrey; Mary had Baby Abe; my college roommate Kim had twin boys; Courtney had Baby Anna and my stepbrother and his wife had their boy-girl twins in November.

4. Did anyone close to you die? Aaron's paternal grandmother died in July and I'm sorry I never got to meet her.

5. What places did you visit? Savannah, Florida (3 times), Minnesota (6 times), Ohio (4 times), San Francisco, Philadelphia and Puerto Rico.

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007? Financial stability. (I said that last year and I'm saying it again! 2008 won't see me debt free, but we'll be on the road there.)

7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Jan. 27 - the day I met Aaron at the dog park. (I took this picture of Scout on our way home.) Feb. 16 - our first date. March 23 - Melissa's wedding. April 13 - Baby Abe's birthday. August 4 - got engaged! Sept. 15 - Colleen's wedding.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? I don't know - I've done a lot of growing this year - figuring out how to be a part of permanent team has been a lot of learning! - but nothing in particular stands out.

9. What was your biggest failure? I wouldn't say anything this year was a "failure." I should have paid off more debt and kept off 4 or 5 pounds, but that's just life. Not "failing."

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? I started getting migraines this year, and hoo boy, those stink!

11. What was the best thing you bought? My Canon Digital Rebel of course!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? This is a silly question, because it’s hard to define. There was a lot to celebrate in 2007 from people making wise choices in their lives to silly things, like celebrating getting flowers at the office.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Nobody really.

14. Where did most of your money go? Boarding my dogs! (Same as 2006!)

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Aaron, getting engaged, being a bridesmaid (twice!), getting engaged, my engagement ring, have I said my ring?, figuring out that I will be able to be debt free someday soon.

16. What song will always remind you of 2007? “You are God” by Charlie Hall. I heard it for the first time at Passion ‘07 and then Melissa chose it to use for her bridal processional. At Thirsty ‘07 I ran into Charlie Hall and I said, “Hey.. I have to tell you something.” And I told him how Melissa and I volunteered at Passion together and that she used that song in her wedding. He said, “No way - that’s awesome. Thank you for telling me that.” I called her immediately and she didn’t believe me at first, but it happened!

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Much happier and I was pretty happy last December, so that’s saying a lot (same answer as last year)
b) thinner or fatter? Thinner, but only marginally since I've gained six pounds since Thanksgiving.
c) richer or poorer? Still poorer, and I’m ready for that answer to change next year.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Saving.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Spending.

20. How did you spend Christmas last year? Same way I’ve spent every other Christmas, with my mom and family at my parents’ house. We have brunch, open presents and then head over to my Aunt Jane’s for dinner and dominoes.

21. Did you fall in love in 2006? Yup!

22. How many one-night stands? None.

23. What was your favorite TV program? Still the Office! (“I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitous.”)

24. What did you do for your birthday in 2007? Had a great 31st. On my actual birthday, Aaron and I went to dinner at Canoe (where the entire night I kept expecting him to propose, especially when he suggested we go out for a walk down near the Chattahooche [no, he just wanted to go for a walk!]). And then a few days later we had a 4th of July/birthday party at his loft with friends and fireworks.

25. What was the best book you read? Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey! I recommend it to everyone. Most of it is common sense, but if it were really so common, more Americans would have more money and less debt.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery? Hmmm. I’m not sure - I heard a lot of good music this year.

27. What did you want and get? A Canon Digital Rebel!

28. What did you want and not get? The year's not over yet!

29. What was your favorite film of this year? I have no idea. Obviously nothing stands out.

30. Did you make some new friends this year? If so, who? Well, Aaron! And his friends. There are a few guys he is still friends with from high school and they’re great.

31.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Nothing comes to mind.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007? How-do-I-suddenly-own-all-this-official-NFL-licensed-Vikings-gear?

33. What kept you sane? Faith, friends, family. Scout, who drives me to the brink of insanity before she does something that makes me love her again. She’s lucky she is so cute.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? I wouldn’t say I fancy any public figures, but Vince Vaughn will always have a place in my heart. Even when he’s doing cheesy Santa movies.

35. What political issue stirred you the most? As always, poverty. The fact that there are people who work hourly-wage jobs who still can’t afford housing or health care is shameful.

36. Who did you miss? Melissa. Michael. My mom. Aaron, when we’re apart.

37. Who was the best new person you met? Aaron. (Are you sensing a theme?)

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.
For all the changes that occurred - meeting my future husband, getting engaged, preparing to move - 2007 was a pretty low-key year. I feel settled in my life and while I am not always happy, I am mostly always content. And I get no credit for any it - all the credit belongs to God.

Posted by hannah at 02:18 PM

March 28, 2007

(Re)new

Dell finally did the right thing and sent me a new laptop to replace the (brand new) one that went kaput more than 365 days ago. (Thanks Dell! You stink.)

So shiny new laptop (yay), which means I can update my iPod for the first time in forever. Searching through podcasts, I discovered that Dr. John Piper's home church, Bethlehem Baptist in Minneapolis, puts his weekly sermons online for downloading at no charge. After hearing Piper at Passion '07 I've become a regular reader of his Desiring God site and really enjoy his "brainy" style and to-the-point teachings.

Having access to my iTunes account also means I was able to finally purchase the available-only-on-iTunes bundles of Passion '07 songs and messages. Melissa chose two of those songs - "Oh, the Glory of It All" by David Crowder Band and "You are God" by Charlie Hall - as her wedding processional music, and it was incredible. (As if I wasn't emotional enough hearing them again and being swept back to that dark, God-filled arena three months ago, now I'll always remember walking down the aisle and seeing Adam's face as he watched Melissa walking toward him!)

Seeing her get married was more than just watching my friend embark on a new road. I witnessed a miracle. I saw the proof of God's grace and majesty. God changes life. He restores. He refines. He reclaims. He renews. It is the cry of my heart to praise Him forever because of it.

Posted by hannah at 06:57 PM

March 19, 2007

Baby Bellies Everywhere

Tonight I went to a large Junior League event, and it seemed like every where I looked there was another pregnant woman, including the woman I manned a booth with for two hours. There were pregnant women pushing strollers, pregnant women with toddlers draped across them, pregnant women about to give birth any day, and even a teeny, tiny pregnant woman who told us she was only 14 weeks along.

I guess I'm just at that stage of life where most women in my age bracket are pregnant, either for the first time or the third or fourth. It's not so unusual, I guess. After all women have been pregnant since the creation of mankind, but when it's your generation - your friends - it seems both miraculous and crazy.

On Saturday night A and I had dinner with C, Teri and Adam and Adam is suddenly this whole person you can have conversations with. It's amazing, but also strange. A good friend gave birth to her first son last month, and two of my close friends are prenant right this moment - one about to give birth any dayand the other in her second trimester with twins (twins!), and it's all so exciting and grown up. When did all this happen?

Posted by hannah at 10:56 PM

March 14, 2007

Samoyums

I had Girl Scout cookies for breakfast. That is all.

Posted by hannah at 09:30 AM

February 22, 2007

Signs

Two ways to tell you might be having a bad day:

1. You wake up to a retching sound, made by the dog sleeping closest to your head.

2. You decide to get a Chick-fil-a biscuit because you are just that hungry, but you are so engrossed in conversation with your friend that you make it all the way back to your office before you realize that while you got your change and a handful of napkins, you do not, in fact, have a biscuit.

Posted by hannah at 09:29 AM

February 17, 2007

Rebel With a Lens

I ordered my new camera on Friday, and I can't stop checking the tracking on FedEx to see where it is. Since Monday is a holiday, I don't expect it till mid-week at the earliest. (Which kind of stinks, as there is a big function on Tuesday night that would be a perfect place to practice using it.) I feel really good about the deal I got - a package that included a 1 GB card, a case and some other goodies - and I still have enough left over from my tax return to be responsible with the rest of it.

And y'all thought I took a lot of pictures before. . . .

Posted by hannah at 04:16 PM

January 17, 2007

Where in the world?

River Street Sweets
The Lady & Sons
Tubby's Tankhouse
"The Book"
Broughton Street

We've been here about 24 hours and so far I've already eaten at least two pralines, the best green beans I've ever had, ever, biscuits and gravy, and tonight we're going to fill up on Grouper fingers.

Our rooms overlook the river and last night we wrapped ourselves in blankets and stood out on the balcony to watch a giant ship roar toward the ocean. A man on the street shouted up that he would bring us roses. The dank smell of the water wafted in and the wind whipped through our hair.

It's a city full of mystery, full of possibility. And lots of Grouper fingers.

Posted by hannah at 03:07 PM

December 13, 2006

2006 Moments

2006 was a year of mile markers, some superficial (finally got an iPod and chopped all my hair off), and some significant - I turned 30. So when I try to name a single defining moment, I'm hard pressed. I would think, initially, that it would be Romania, and while it was undoubtedly a defining trip, and my heart and life were changed because of it, it feels so much like its own beginning, rather than a single moment that sticks out in one year.

I catalog the year in my head, running through all the trips, travels and significant dates. I stood on a beach in Negril and saw two of my friends get married. I marked the first anniversary of homeownership and it came and went without me running off somewhere or robbing a bank. There was a fateful trip to Las Vegas where I heard God loudly telling me that perhaps the reason none of my relationships work out is because I'm the one doing the choosing. I turned 30. Michael was born and my heart no longer belonged to me. And then I got on a plane - more scared than I've ever been - and flew to a country I never dreamed I'd visit, to serve people who served me far greater in return. Sometimes in my dreams I can still see the countryside. I still hear them worshiping in their native tongue and I see with my own eyes Timisoara's Victory Square laid white with snow, the way it was washed clean that fateful December day in 1989.

I fell for someone I had no business falling for and I made the conscious decision to stop dating, perhaps for good. There was Labor Day Retreat where Francis Chan spoke words that wrecked my world and I fight daily to remember them, only to be wrecked again and again. Sarah and I stood in a New Mexico field and watched hundreds of hot air balloons ascend into the sky, littering it like candied confetti. I waded into the Caribbean seas off the Yucatan Peninsula and, totally alone save for the tide, raised my arms to God and proclaimed "We are yours, we are yours, we are yours," and knew right then that as long as there is an ocean, I will never have trouble remembering how vast He is.

And those are just the big moments. It does nothing to encapsulate the millions of words exchanged or the friendships forged. It doesn't speak of the low times when I wondered how I would ever persevere; the times I felt alone or victimized or slandered. It doesn't even speak to the little memories in the big moments - like how Rodica took us on a walking tour of Timisoara and I was overwhelmed by the thousands or roses everywhere. They were pink and white and red and I thought that how strange it was, in a city that was the birthplace of a revolution, in a country that was ruled by a heartless dictator, still there were roses; still there was beauty amid the gray buildings and downtrodden citizens. There were moments of worship when I thought I would never stop singing - and I stopped and opened my eyes and saw in front of me, behind me, beside me, friends whose arms were also raised; people who were worshipping the same God I was; who love Him just as much, with as much awe and appreciation. On one occasion, those people were singing in a different language, but their hearts were saying the same thing. There were moments where I felt totally unacceptable and then was suddenly told in the next moment how appreciated I am, and how lucky that person feels to be my friend. There are moments I'll never forget - like driving to Teri's house - my beloved, wonderful Teri without whom I would have been lost long ago - to hang out with her two-year-old child and getting a phone call from my beloved, beautiful Melissa telling me that she is getting married. And I felt nothing but lucky.

Sometimes I am amazed - amazed! - at how different I am. When someone strikes me, instead of striking back or getting worked up over how unfair life is, I wonder what I did to make them lash out. And if necessary, I apologize and then that's the end of it. Forgiveness is never easy, and sometimes you have to wake up every day and forgive again and again, but when you're no longer struggling on a treadmill of being the BEST, life gets easier. It'll never be easy - suffering came into the world on the tail of sin and we will never escape it while we inhabit this skin. But knowing that my life isn't about me and that I'm not running a race for a flush bank account or a hot husband makes it easier to swallow the petty and the stupid and the simply unnecessary.

I know that this is sometimes a dirty word on the Internet, but I am happy. Sometimes I'm overwhelmed and sometimes I wonder if it will ever be my turn, and sometimes I wish I had enough will power to not eat so many dang cookies, but almost all of the time I am happy.

To be able to say that at the close of 2006, when I most certainly could not have said it at the start, is perhaps the best moment of all.

Posted by hannah at 05:16 PM

December 05, 2006

Shop Doxie II

Got my order yesterday! Isn't it pretty? Don't you want your very own?



www.shopdoxie.com

Posted by hannah at 12:19 PM

November 28, 2006

Shop Doxie

When you're a crazy dog person yourself, it helps if you surround yourself with other crazy dog people. It's even better when those crazy dog people are gorgeous, funny and ridiculously talented.

So get on with it and Shop Doxie.

Posted by hannah at 01:39 PM

November 23, 2006

Grateful

It's a gorgeous day in Houston. This morning my dad and I took CiCi to Meyer Park and we walked the track. By the time we were finished, I was so hot that I opted to forgoe the Gingerbread Latte at Starbucks I was craving when I woke up this morning. In Houston, if it weren't for all the commercial decorations and cheesy faux garland strung outside the grocery stores, you'd never be able to tell it was the holidays at all. Certainly not by the weather.

But it is Thanksgiving - I know that by the smell of the (organic, free range) turkey wafting up from the kitchen and by the fact that there were an incredible amount of amatuer travelers at Hartsfield-Jackson yesterday.

So in the great tradition of bloggers everywhere - and in keeping with my own tradition - a list of what I am thankful for.

• My gorgeous, gorgeous Michael, for whom I would scoop out the ocean or stop a speeding train.

• Buckhead Church - a place where I am able to grow, serve, love and be loved.

• Friends far and wide - both those who knew me then and know me now. Friends who don't care what I look like or what kind of mood I'm in, they just care about me.

• Starbucks in CNN Center, where everybody knows your name.

• A great job with great people and new challenges every day.

• Romania - for showing me what it worship can really look like; what it really means to have nothing but your faith; and for introducing me to a part of the world, and a people group, I never would have otherwise known or experienced.

• The ocean - whether it's the green of the Gulf, the shimmering blue of the Caribbean or the sandy, foamy waves of the Atlantic.

• Taqueria del Sol

• Delta Skymiles (Stay away US Air! We don't want you!)

• The smell of Ohio on a hot, summer day.

• My family - all 800 of them. I met someone a few weeks ago who has no first cousins. His mom is an only child and his dad's only sister never had children. My head spun, wondering what I would be like or how my life would have been different without all my cousins. Without knowing I have these connections, reaching out to me and away from me, all over the United States.

• Old Navy tank tops

• My stupid house that aggravates me on a daily basis, but for which I am so thankful. I really, honestly never thought I'd be able to make the leap to homeownership in my 20s and as a single woman. Frankly, I'm still amazed.

• Montego - for the years and years of companionship she has given me. For loving me and protecting me, even though I shook her world to pieces when I took in a crazy, 10-week-old puppy.

• Scout. She is crazy, hyper and too smart for her own good. But she makes me laugh even when I have to hold back the urge to let her run down the street and never come back.

• Atlanta, Atlanta, Atlanta. It was a whim that brought me to her, but it will take an army to make me leave.

Happy Thanksgiving, y'all. Thanks for reading all these years. Thank you for your e-mails and your stories and your friendship. This site has brought people into my life - some temporarily, some forever. But for each of you, I am grateful.

"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever."
Psalm 107:1

Posted by hannah at 12:49 PM

October 19, 2006

Around the World in 365 Days

Yesterday I told my mom that I would not travel as much in 2007 as I have in 2006 because I was just exhausted from all of it. "Except for Savannah in January and Florida in June, because those are for work. Oh, and when we go to Florida in the spring." And then I remembered: New Orleans in February for the Mardi Gras Half; the Missions team is planning a return trip to Romania in June. And I'm hoping there will be at least one wedding - if not two - in Ohio and I can't go an entire year without seeing Michael and I'm sure my dad would like it if I came to Houston at least once. So there I am again with a full year of traveling in front of me and it's still only October.

I love traveling, but it's hard to do when you have a pet. You either have to burden your friends or come up with a few hundred bucks for boarding (that I can now increase by 33% with the addition of a second dog - thankfully they don't double the price), not to mention the tickets and parking/cab fare/MARTA money to get to the airport in the first place. And I'm a homebody by nature - I like being in my house. When the dogs and I went back to our house yesterday after their eight nights at the Coole's (and my four), I was never so glad to be home, ever.

Sometimes I'm amazed when I look at my Flickr sets and see all the places I've been over the past year. How did I manage it all? How is my house still standing, unrobbed? Why is Montego even still speaking to me?

But I'm so grateful that I got to travel to all those places and see all the things that I saw. I got to hang out with my dad in Houston; see one of my best friends get married on a beach in Jamaica; spend a long weekend with my favorite female family members in Florida; gamble in Vegas; see the sun set in Hilton Head Island; stand among Roman ruins in Transylvania; hold my brand new nephew in Ohio; worship with 800 of my closest friends on the sands of Destin; and see hundreds of hot air balloons ascend into the sky in Albuquerque.

In two weeks I'll be in the waters off the Yucatan Peninsula and two weeks after that I'll be back at my dad and Ginger's house in Texas - one of my favorite places on the planet - to eat turkey and watch lots of DVDs and take long walks with their dog.

I am lucky; I’m not complaining. But sometimes I wonder what I am missing here when I’m gallivanting off over there. Maybe in 2007 I’ll find out.

Posted by hannah at 11:14 AM | Comments (0)

October 13, 2006

Southwestern

I used to think that the sky over Texas was the biggest sky I'd ever seen, but that was only because I'd never been West enough; never been so far West that there is nothing to break up the expanse of sky for miles and miles.

Tonight I stood outside and watched the sun set - bouncing off the Sandia Mountains in the East - casting pink and brown light across the mesa. My mom told me that she'd always found New Mexico to have a different sort of beauty, and I have to agree. I took pictures of the sky, but photos never give creation the due justice it deserves. You're always a little disappointed when you view them later, trying to drum up the memory of the moment you were taken in.

There are few places in nature that call to me like the ocean, but it's easy to understand how the mountains' stature can capture one's imagination and heart.

Last Sunday we taught the kids about the sky and the water and how God made it all and when I look upon the face of the largest rock I've ever stood upon, I am overwhelmed by His majesty.

My father is a geologist, so I know the science of it all. I understand their age and how over time wind and weather and water shaped the rocks, the mountains, the mesa. If you close your eyes, you can see where the rivers used to run; how they left behind rivets in the rocks. But none of that takes away the awe I feel when I regard them; the appreciation I have for a Creator who just as lovingly and patiently created me.

My soul wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defense; I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God. Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour our your heart before him: God is a refuge for us.
Psalms 62:5-8

Posted by hannah at 08:47 PM | Comments (0)

September 22, 2006

Complicit

I feel like all I do is preach around these parts lately and I'm even exhausting myself. But on the other hand, nothing else feels as important. Who cares about my house or my nonexistent love life, or even my cute new puppy when there is so much work to do? So much shouting from the rooftops that must be done?

The other night, after I sobbed on the phone with my mother for an hour about the state of the world and the state of the church and why was I so burdened by all of this, she sent me an e-mail with just a bunch of scripture. God has already overcome the world, she said. All we can do is care for the little corner He has placed us in. (Which of course makes me question whether I'm in the correct corner, but that's an entirely different conversation.)

So all of that is to say that I'm trying to focus on the fact that He is, always has been and always will be, in control of it all. There has always been war and genocide and poverty, and I don't say that to imply that it's unimportant or because I feel like we shouldn't aim to eradicate those things, because I think we should. I say it because I can't fight with myself or with Him because these things will always exist. They are out there and they were there before me and they will be there after me. But, and this is a big but, so will He!

Many years ago, when I lived in Columbus and attended Joshua House, a Sunday night service at the Columbus Vineyard for young adults, the pastor's wife told a story about her wrestling relationship with God. She said that she was shaking her fist at him one night, so overcome with helplessness at the idea of starving babies and soldier children. Her anger was overwhelming. She cried out to Him, "Why do you let this happen?" and she heard back very clearly, Why do YOU?

That question has stuck with me ever since. Why do we let these things happen?

I watched Hotel Rwanda last week and it has haunted me ever since. I was in a bad mood for days afterward and there are several lines I can't get out of my head. Joaquin Phoenix plays a cameraman there to film the signing of the UN treaty between the Hutu president and the Tutsi rebels. The war breaks out while he is there and he and his boom operator sneak off the hotel grounds (against his reporter/director's orders) to film the fighting. When he shows the footage to his reporter, Don Cheadle's character sees it. Later, Joaquin's character apologizes to him that he had to see it, and Cheadle's character replies that he is grateful it was filmed, because now the world will see it and they will send help. Joaquin looks at him with a mixture of sadness and disbelief and says, "I think people will see it and say 'My god, that is horrible,' and then they'll go back to eating their dinners."

Which is exactly what happened.

It is in my nature to be self-righteous at times, as well as judgmental, and they're behaviors I struggle to keep reigned in, but sometimes I don't know how else to be when the answers are so clearly black and white.

What happened in the Gulf Coast was wrong. What happened in Rwanda was wrong. What is happening right now, as I sit here, in the Sudan and South Africa, is wrong. Our government's response to these atrocities is WRONG.

But this morning I spent $3.13 on a stupid Pumpkin Spice Latte when I could have given it to any number of the homeless I pass every day in downtown Atlanta and that was probably wrong too.

I have been giving serious thought to running for local office in 2008 - something I always knew I'd be good at but never really considered - and I can't believe I'm even throwing this out into the universe, but there it is.

People say that I'm idealistic and that this is just how our government works and you can't fight the power, but I believe that if you're not idealistic, if you accept a broken system, then you derserve the horrible output that system delivers. And none of us deserves an ineffectual government.

Both of Georgia's gubernatorial candidates are terrible choices. Right now the only stand either of them has taken in their campaign is the promise to enact stricter laws for repeat sexual offenders. Well, duh. Who doesn't want stricter laws for child molesters? That's a no brainier. Tell me what you're going to do about Peachcare. Tell me what you're going to do with the Hope Scholarship. Tell me how you're going to fix Atlanta's transit nightmare and why it's possible for schools in the same county to have such a chasm between them.

I just want someone to make a change. I just want someone, anyone, to stand up and point out that the emperor isn't wearing any clothes.

(Comments are still broken. Sorry! But you can always e-mail me at hannah [at] hannah beth [dot] com.)

Posted by hannah at 11:12 AM | Comments (0)

September 18, 2006

Division

Yesterday I realized why that age old adage of not discussing politics in public exists. After church, a group of about 10 people - most of whom I know very well and serve with - went to lunch together. Somehow, and for some reason, the topic of President Bush came up and I, stupidly, made a sarcastic comment about him, mostly to myself, (something like, "oh yes, he deserves a medal,") and my friend said, "I can't believe you would say that!" That began a 30 to 40 minute conversation about politics, Bush and our government. I, of course, stood squarely alone.

Anyone who knows me, or has read my site for any amount of time, knows that I consider myself a Republican and that I am a fairly conservative person, politically and socially. Most people also know that I'm not exactly a novice, having received a bachelor's in Political Science and spending a chunk of my work life in government, both as an intern and as a might-as-well-have-been-working-for-free staffer. I've only ever worked for Republicans and during a time when the GOP had control of both the US Congress and the Ohio House. I've campaigned at the local level, the state level and the national level. In 2000 I campaigned for George W. Bush, whom I thought would change the world. (I was right about that one, I guess.)

When then Gov. Bush was testing the waters about a possible presidential run, I read everything about him I could get my hands on. Voraciously I poured over articles in Texas Monthly and online magazines like Slate and Salon. Coincidentally enough, I found an interview I'd printed out that was published May 6, 1999 on salon.com. When I read it last night, I wanted to cry, both for me and for the man I truly believed (I was a True Believer) would save America from herself.

They were saying that W had the potential to reshape the political landscape. That he was a "uniter, not a divider." Even then he had clear moral convictions and a real, life-giving faith, true. But he also said in this interview, and I quote, "Government can't change attitude. Government can lead - a leader can lead and convince people, but there's no law that makes people love each other." He spoke about changing hearts in churches, synagogues and mosques, not in legislation and committees. He said that the role of a civil society is to love people and help those in need and that by doing that, by changing hearts and attitude in society, that a change in laws will follow.

And when I read that, I choked. It is the Bush Administration I see loving the least, along with his rabid "Christian" followers. Where was that kind of leadership when New Orleans residents sat and stewed at the Convention Center for FOUR DAYS while the Federal Government did nothing? Where is the love, period?

My friends said, "But.. but... but.. why aren't you attacking Nagin or the state government?" And it's like they couldn't hear, didn't want to hear, when I said that Katrina was a failure across all levels. It only takes a degree in common sense to know that. But just because the local government failed and the state government failed doesn't get Bush off the hook, when FEMA's entire purpose is to respond on behalf of the Federal Government in national disasters. What were they doing the four years post-9/11 if not preparing for this storm that has been brewing and threatening the Gulf Coast for decades.

In November 2005, when I cast my vote for the Kerry/Edwards ticket, I cried. My heart was broken. I felt like everything I believed in, everything I had espoused was a lie. Bush had turned me into a liar. Where was his small government? His lowered taxes? Why were we (are we) in a war we can't win? Today I ask, how are we able to pump billions of dollars into building a government in Iraq when there are still hundreds of thousands of homeless and displaced Americans in the Gulf Coast? Why is that Thailand's beaches and resorts were up and running less than a year after the tsunami when the casinos and tourist industry that Mississippi relies on to survive, struggles to get back on its feet? How did the people in Sri Lanka get aid - water, clothing, assistance - within 24 hours when there were Americans drowning in their attics three to four days after the storm?

I don't know the answers to any of these questions. I find it truly mind-blowing that anyone who loves God, follows Jesus, could be okay with the job our commander-in-chief is doing around the world. How does a man who wants to follow in the footsteps of my Christ stand before the pulpit of the world and advocate for torture?

I don't know what to do about any of it or what to say to anyone who asks me my opinion. All I can do is cling to Him and look to what I know to be true for guidance and for answers.

Posted by hannah at 05:46 PM | Comments (0)

September 11, 2006

9|11

I remember.

Posted by hannah at 10:06 AM | Comments (0)

July 11, 2006

On a jet plane

My left eye is twitching. It's been doing this a lot lately. I know it's because I'm nervous and there have been a lot of life changes lately. A big birthday, a new nephew, new relationships. I know it's because I'm about to embark on the greatest adventure of my life thus far and despite all the preparation and planning, I feel like I'm going into this thing totally blind. I'm not though. Even in darkness, there is light.

Thank you all for your support and e-mails and prayers. Until then.

Psalm 67
God be merciful unto us, and bless us; and cause his face to shine upon us; Selah. 2 That thy way may be known upon earth, thy saving health among all nations. 3 Let the people praise thee, O God; let all the people praise thee. 4 O let the nations be glad and sing for joy: for thou shalt judge the people righteously, and govern the nations upon earth. Selah. 5 Let the people praise thee, O God; let all the people praise thee. 6 Then shall the earth yield her increase; and God, even our own God, shall bless us. 7 God shall bless us; and all the ends of the earth shall fear him.

Posted by hannah at 12:28 PM | Comments (3)

June 30, 2006

Champagne Wishes

From Wikipedia: One's golden birthday, also called a champagne birthday, is the day when the age one turns and the date of birth coincide.

Thirty on the 30th!

Posted by hannah at 03:30 PM | Comments (2)

June 29, 2006

The Door to Thirty

Tomorrow I turn 30. Thirty. It seems weird to think of myself as 30, as I feel about 25 and I still get carded just about everywhere I go. (I got carded probably five times a day when I was in Vegas - even a few times for just being on the floor, even when I wasn't gambling.) But regardless of how I feel, there it is: 30.

Everyone keeps telling me that your thirties is when it all comes together, and you realize that you were an idiot in your twenties (I already realized that), and that the thirties are the prime of your life. It'll be great, they tell me. And while I believe them, there is still that sense of sadness that I'm closing the door on such a huge part of my life. I won't be a 20something anymore and that is just strange to me.

My high school Precal was that cool teacher guy whom everyone loved: Mr. Rock. I don't remember any math he taught me, but I remember very clearly one Friday afternoon (it must have been his birthday), and as he stood there at the chalkboard in his casual Friday jeans and LSU polo, he told us that no matter the number of candles on your cake, you never really feel old. That statement is hard to understand when you're 17 and think you're already old enough to know everything, but I get it now.

I'm excited about tomorrow. I feel like I'm getting ready to open the biggest present I'll ever get and the anger that I felt several weeks ago over entering into a new decade has totally dissipated. I feel an energy around me, like major things are about to happen, as if my life is about to change in a way I never expected.

I did a lot in my 20s: I graduated from college; I landed three jobs; I moved many times, including the biggest move of my life to the Dirty, Dirty; I bought a house; I fell in love and got my heart broken and then I did that again and again and again; I got Montego and found out my brother is having a son; I learned to believe in what I always knew to be True and I let myself be loved by the greatest Lover to ever live. I stopped looking for answers in the darkness and found the answer to every question I'll ever ask. (Last night I made a joke and said something like, "I'm just over here trying to love Jesus!" and my friend looked at me funny and said, "But lovin' Jesus is easy. There ain't nothin' complicated about Him," and that is the truth.)

The only emotion I can muster at this moment is gratitude. I am so, so thankful for everything in my life. I have friends who think I'm one-of-a-kind and who tolerate my abuse of Birthday Week. I have a supportive family who love me lavishly. I feel like my life has been blessing piled on top of blessing and I did nothing to deserve any of it. I'm simply a girl, a woman, who's over here just trying to love Jesus. Who is trying to love you. Who is trying to love her life.

The door to 30 stands open and whether I like it or not, I'm walking through it. I'll see y'all over there.

Posted by hannah at 05:24 PM | Comments (1)

May 16, 2006

Sick of It

It's so chilly here that I keep getting surprised every time I look at the date. Seriously. I got an out-of-office e-mail from a co-worker today when I forwarded her something and when it said she would return on May 17 and I thought, "Sheesh!" Then I realized that May 17 is, hello, tomorrow.

I have a cold and that makes me grumpy. I started feeling poorly on Thursday, and I made the mistake of going out on Friday and I think it did me in. But I had a date and I didn't want to cancel on him, so I thought if I took some medicine that I would rally just fine. I so rarely get sick, and when I do it's usually just annoying, that I didn't forsee being knocked out of commission for the next four days. It was worth it.

My home computer is still dead. Never buy a Dell. Never. I don't understand why a company offers a warranty if they're not willing to stand behind their product. Just send me a new laptop! It would cost them nothing, but it has cost me months of aggravation and waiting around and getting hung up on. It makes me so mad even just thinking about it. I had a Compaq for five years that never gave me any issues and I have my Dell for two months and it goes kaput. Awesome.

2006 is slipping away at an alarming rate and I don't know how to get my hands around it. The next time I turn around, I will be 30 and I'm not ready yet.

Posted by hannah at 02:36 PM | Comments (3)

April 19, 2006

Viva

Heading out the door for Las Vegas. It's always wise to pay all your bills before you go, even if that leaves you with like, $20. It's also nice to go to a city like that with a bunch of lawyers - at least if you get in trouble there's someone to help you out. Not that I plan on getting in trouble, but it's one of those weird comforts, like sitting next to a pilot on a transcontinental flight.

Until then!

Posted by hannah at 01:54 PM | Comments (2)

March 16, 2006

Go Team

I am not that cool girl who sits at the bar with the guys cheering on the Falcons or the Oilers or whomever. I understand the basics of most games, but I have no idea what foul the ref is about to call or what that crazy arm move means.

I like going to games, any type of game, but it's always more about the experience (the beer, the food, the community, the shared experience of cheering for something honest and real) than it is about the action on the court or the field or the ice.

That said, every March when the madness fever starts to spread, I catch it. I haven't watched five seconds, let alone five minutes, of any NCAA basketball game this season, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to play.

I'm participating in two pools, one of them for money, and I've already check Yahoo! Sports (shout-out to Mark) a half dozen times. And I almost had a stroke when I saw the Boston College game was in its second overtime.

So yeah, I don't know who won the 1961 World Series or why Joe Namath was a great quarterback, but I have the madness just the same. Go team.

Posted by hannah at 03:19 PM | Comments (8)

March 06, 2006

Quickly

I am about to walk out the door to go babysit my friends' daughter so that they can celebrate their second anniversary (I can't believe they've already been married two years - it feels like last week that we were in Jacksonville, dancing to the best wedding band ever), but random things have happened to me recently, and I have to say something about it before I forget.

In the past month or so two people I have not spoken to since before I left Texas, so 1993 or thereabouts, have found me via the Internet and sent me e-mails. It's been really trippy and wild, but great. But do you know how hard it is to sum up 10-12 years of your life in one e-mail? They went something like this: graduated from Klein, went to college, moved to Columbus, worked, moved to Atlanta, here I am. Sprinkle with heartbreaks, adventures, homeownership and travel. The end.

I'm a relationship-oriented person, which is why I have numerous friendships that have survived decades and distance and major life changes, and it's been pretty awesome to realize that people who loved me back then remember me, and remember me fondly, today.

Life is life and it will continue to surprise you. If you're lucky.

Posted by hannah at 05:49 PM | Comments (1)

February 26, 2006

Sunny yeah

Just as Paulie said today is sunny and gorgeous. Montego is outside, in her own yard, soaking it up right now. We came back to our house around 6:30 last night and she practically passed out. I could almost hear her thinking, I am too old for those crazy puppies! But they had a great time together - they were hilarious and Bella is infinitely patient for being 80 pounds heavier than Teeg. And I didn't even have to kill Biscuit, so all in all, I think it was a successful week.

After three nights in Jamaica and five nights at Sarah and Doug's, it felt good to wake up in my own bed this morning. So good in fact that I drastically overslept, which means I missed church. When I don't go, it throws off my whole week, which to be honest is quite an amazing discovery. The first 18 years of my life I went religiously, to use a word I hate, but the next 10 years saw me attending sporadically at best. I can barely describe what it is like now, to finally attend a church I can consider home - it's incredible. Sundays are my favorite day of the week. (Plus, it's nice to kick off every week having lunch with Mary Lee.) Luckily, thanks to technology and the nontraditional environment at Buckhead, I can listen to the sermons online, which I'll do at some point today. It doesn't make up for missing out on the community or worship, but it's better than nothing.

I bought a ton of music on iTunes yesterday, including The Best of Lisa Loeb, which I blame entirely on E! My favorite thing about the iPod is the ability to have all the cheesy music you want, and no one has to know. I can buy old love songs by Take That, for example. Not that I would know anything about that. (Oh, please, you think I'd be ashamed of that? I still have New Kids videos, people.)

I also took a faux Myers-Briggs personality test yesterday (I'm probably the last person on the Internet to do so). I am an ESFJ - extroverted (duh), sensing, feeling, judging (DUH). This type is known as the "caregiver" or the "hostess," which also, duh. But one paragraph in the "portrait of an ESFJ" really hit me:

ESFJs are warm and energetic. They need approval from others to feel good about themselves. They are hurt by indifference and don't understand unkindness. They are very giving people, who get a lot of their personal satisfaction from the happiness of others. They want to be appreciated for who they are, and what they give. They're very sensitive to others, and freely give practical care. ESFJs are such caring individuals, that they sometimes have a hard time seeing or accepting a difficult truth about someone they care about. (Emphasis mine.)

That's pretty much what I wrote yesterday morning, in regards to my past relationships. I constantly have to remind myself to see people for who they ARE, not for who I know they CAN be. Maya Angelou says, "When someone shows you who they are, believe them." I try, I try.

Tonight the Glow Girls will meet up for dinner so that we can hear all about Sarah's honeymoon and recap our Jamaican experiences. I can't wait to see Sarah - we spend so much time together, 40 hours a week just at work, that I miss her when it's been more that a few days.

I feel like I've been going nonstop since before Christmas that finally the year is beginning to slow down and I can start enjoying and living this life of mine. Not that the next six months aren't already booking up quickly. I have trips to Florida, Vegas, Ohio, Hilton Head and again to Ohio already in the planner and who knows what else will pop up. My dad is coming to Atlanta at some point to help me stain my deck and do some yard work, and I'm hoping to take a minibreak to Chicago or New Orleans as well. I'm also thinking of going to Europe in September - fly into Amsterdam and spend a few days with Teri's parents and then take a train to France or Germany or England. Who wants to come?

Posted by hannah at 10:24 AM | Comments (5)

February 25, 2006

Rainy blah

It's raining and gross outside and that's about how I feel. I should be at the gym right this second, but it's hard to go sometimes when you know none of your friends are going to be there either. Every Saturday we go to this Body Works class, which is free weights and strength training in a classroom setting, and the instructor is this fantastic Cuban guy named Jorge. He used to be a dancer in NYC and always makes us do these silly moves in between sets, and his classic move, posing. After we work our shoulders and arms he makes us shake it out and then pose like bodybuilders. So at the wedding last week we had Hollis take some pictures of us in our Body Works poses, and when Sarah gets back we'll take them in to show Jorge. I'm not sure he really wants us to be his poster girls, but he seemed excited about the prospect of us posing in our wedding attire!

Sarah and Doug get home tonight, and I'm sure the dogs are ready to see them! I am ready to see them! It's been a week of 12 paws on the hardwood floors and deep sighs and barking. Good lord, the barking. (Mostly Montego, to be fair.)

I'm coming up on one year of homeownership and everyone says that after the first year, it gets easier. I really, really hope so. I would be lying if I didn't admit that one of the suckiest things about breaking up with J0shua was that I lost my handyman! He has plans to come down and help me out with a few things, but now that we're not together anymore, I can't really expect him to do that. Sure, it'll be great if he does, but if not, I guess I'll have to woman up and either break out the Yellow Pages or my toolbox.

I was e-mailing with someone the other day and he said something about how younger women (24ish) are sometimes easier to date than women closer to/past 30 because younger girls are often more carefree, have fewer expectations and less baggage. It's not the first time I've heard something like that - I even remember 30-year-old+ guys saying it to me when I was 24, and it struck me as incredibly unfair even back then. I put up with a lot of bad behavior when I was in my 20s - I was so worried about someone rejecting the real me that I kept my mouth shut and made nice. What is so crazy about that is that's not who I am at all. My friends call me their boss for a reason - I'm a natural leader with strong opinions on just about everything! But on dates or in the beginnings of a new relationship I have a tendancy to ask a lot about him and only mention things that I like that I know he likes too etc. And that's unfair to him, but it's also so unfair to me. Why would I sabotage myself like that?

When J0shua and I made the move from friends to more, I was so petrified that he would change his mind that I felt almost paralyzed. I didn't know how to act and he was left wondering where that fun, engaging, independent girl went who was his friend. Stupid, stupid.

If your 20s are when you figure out who you are and what you stand for, then at least I'm on track with something!

Posted by hannah at 11:01 AM | Comments (1)

February 16, 2006

Early

Y'all. It is early. But my flight to Jamaica leaves at 8:30 a.m., so I'm up well before dawn. Probably shouldn't have had two beers at the Corner Tavern last night, or those fried artichokes, but I live on the edge like that.

I can't believe Sarah's wedding is already here - it seems like we've been talking about, planning it, thinking about it for 100 years instead of just one.

I'm so tired that I might be able to sleep on the plane - something I am never, ever able to usually do - maybe that was my master plan all along.

All right - see y'all when I'm back from the beach. I'm sure I'll have more photos than you can stand.

Posted by hannah at 05:31 AM | Comments (1)

February 13, 2006

I'll give you my heart

Yesterday a small group of us went over to Allison's to make Valentine's cookies. Remember when Valentine's Day was just about candy and cookies and passing out cards at school? I'm trying to recapture that. Who needs roses?

When I was growing up, my mom marked every holiday with presents and that is something I love about her! Whether it was Halloween or Easter or Valentine's, my brother and I could be sure that when we woke up and raced down to the breakfast room that there would be treats and treasures awaiting us on the table. When I was little it was usually a stuffed animal or a Barbie, along with chocolate and a card. As I got older the chocolate and card were still there, but they were normally accompanied by a CD or a sweater, or my brother's favorite, money.*

When I was in college I got care packages and she always included cards and little boxes of chocolates for my roommates too. She's a thoughtful woman, my mother. Can't say that enough.

So tomorrow is the 14th and I have a date with my hair stylist. She'll ask about my (scant) love life and she'll probably tell me some crazy story about her klepto roommate. I'm sure she'll reprimand me for going so long between visits. (My hair might be the longest it's every been.)

So I don't have someone who loves me and calls me his very own, but I do have cookies. What more does a girl need? (Don't answer that.)

*Someday when I am feeling good about myself and can take the cold hard truth, I will tell you the difference between my brother's money management style and my own. Let's just say that Guy still has $10 bills that our grandfather gave him a decade ago. Mine was probably spent in about 38 seconds on something like Garbage Pail Kids. Story of my life.

Posted by hannah at 01:53 PM | Comments (6)

February 11, 2006

No worries

No worries, no worries mon. It's a phrase you hear a lot in Jamaica. When I was there in 2003 and the Ritz-Carlton misplaced Deidra's bag for a few hours, that was the only response the bellmen had. (They did find it eventually, so see, we had no reason to worry.) But it's a hard adjustment, your first few hours there, as you get used to island time, island culture.

Island Time is tough for an American. We're so used to having everything move at the speed of technology - we get what we want when we want it. Pizzas, television shows, movies - they're all ready when we pick up the phone or go online or turn on our iPods.

But in Jamaica you have to wait. A lot. This will my third trip to the island, so I'm fairly used to Island Time by now. I usually take my watch off as soon as we land, because what's the point? You'll eat/go on that boat ride/get your drink eventually. No worries!

My bed is currently littered with about four bathing suits, numerous pairs of flip flops and one sweater - for the return flight. I keep thinking that I need to pack something else, but apart from my bridesmaid dress and a bikini, what do I need? It's not like I'll ever need to put on a pair of pants or anything. The only closed-toed shoes I'll have are my running sneakers and I'll probably just wear them on the plane. (I'm a smart packer.) Luckily, this leaves plenty of room in my suitcase for rum.

In exactly one week Sarah will be married and I'll probably have a slight sunburn. (SPF 15 is no match for the sun near the EQUATOR.) And then I'll come back to spend the next five days in Sarah's house with three dogs, a cat and my shaky sanity. But by then I'll have my own bottle of Appleton's and I can just smile, raise my glass and tell my own personal Montego, "No worries, mon."

Posted by hannah at 02:31 PM | Comments (2)

February 06, 2006

Four

Because it's almost 5 o'clock:

Four jobs I've had:
1. Grocery Store Cashier
2. Copywriter
3. Waitress
4. "Communications" - generic, but my current job takes a lot more explanation than I'm willing to give the Innernets

Four movies I can watch over and over:
1. Office Space
2. Center Stage
3. Legally Blonde
4. Napoleon Dynamite

Four places I've lived:
1. Spring, Texas
2. Oxford, Ohio
3. Columbus, Ohio
4. Atlanta, Georgia

Four TV Shows I Love*:
1. Scrubs
2. Arrested Development
3. The Office
4. Grey's Anatomy
*This list could be a lot longer, it's sad. These are the four I don't delete off TiVo till I've watched them at least twice

Four places I've vacationed*:
1. Siesta Key, Florida
2. Montego Bay, Jamaica
3. Orlando, Florida
4. Las Vegas, Nevada
* To me "vacation" means somewhere I go to relax, have fun and/or hang out. It also doesn't allow for work trips, even if the "work" portion is minimal. "Traveling" is when you go there with a purpose - to see art, architecture, visit a friend etc. (Or to just be able to say, "Oh, well, when I was in Spain . . .") I have crazy rules about things.

Four of my favorite dishes:
1. Pizza in any shape, size, form or topping
2. Chicken salad on bread, crackers, philo dough or a fork
3. Grilled tilapia
4. Enchiladas

Four sites I visit daily:
1. flickr.com
2. mathplusone.com
3. atlbloggers.net
4. yahoo.com

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. On any beach in any country
2. At home with Montego, cuddled up
3. Shopping in New York City with a million dollars
4. Camping with my dog, a man and a fire

Posted by hannah at 04:48 PM | Comments (1)

February 04, 2006

Two Truths

Two truths about being (almost) 30.

1. You will no longer be able to go braless, even if the top really demands it. Neither you, nor any part of you, is still 24.

2. When you wake up in the morning with sheet creases on your face, there is a really good chance they'll still be there at lunchtime. And the "crease" between your eyes is just a preview, my friend. Just a preview.

Posted by hannah at 12:42 PM | Comments (6)

January 31, 2006

MoJo Forever

Today my friend Melissa turns 30.

We met in 1998, at the tender age of 22, when I worked for the Ohio House of Representatives with a girl who'd gone to Ohio U. Sally and I became quick friends, and she was constantly telling me how much I reminded her of one of her sorority sisters and best friends from school. "You remind me so much of Melissa!" she'd say, almost daily. A few months into the new job, I invited my coworkers to a holiday party my then-roommate and I were hosting. It was mostly Miami kids (so you know those Ohio U alumni felt inadequate already), and Sally brought a date, along with Melissa and her then-boyfriend. Needless to say, it wasn't friendship at first sight! I think we were both skeptical of the other, after hearing about one another for so long. I did notice that we had similar looks, but I was instantly jealous because I thought Melissa was much prettier. (And thinner, for sure.) Later she told me that she thought I was kind of bitchy that night, and when I pointed out that I was busy being the hostess she came back with, "Well, not with the mostess!"

A few weeks after Christmas, Sally invited us to go out again, to meet this new guy she was dating, and the four of us went to BW3s for wings and beer. For Melissa and I, it was like a first date - we laughed and whispered and got to know each other for hours, and when we walked out of the bar that night, singing Grease 2 songs, I knew we would be friends for life. For one, I dared her to dance down the sidewalk singing "Cool Rider," and she did it, and for two, I had never met anyone like her.

Much of our friendship has already been chronicled in this journal, which is a good thing, because at this point it would be simply impossible for me to put into words what she means to me or to recount the millions of memories we share. She has stood next to me, behind me and she has led me through the ups and downs of my post-college 20s. She has held my hand through heartbreaks, she has cheered my successes and she watched me drive away from Ohio. And as I left the safety of that place, that city where I met my best friend and began learning what it meant to be an adult, I knew that losing her friendship was something I didn't need to fear.

A few months after I came to Atlanta, she moved back home to Cincinnati, and we now only see each other once or twice a year, usually when we go to Florida together. But when we are together it's as if time and distance don't exist. It's like we're still roommates, living on Kossuth Street, watching old New Kids videos and debating the artistic stylings of Justin Timberlake and Jordan Knight. It's an amazing thing to share a home with the person who knows you better than anyone, and loves you still. It's the closest thing to marriage I know. It may seem weird, but I will be lucky to one day marry a man who makes me laugh as easily and is as good a friend to me as Melissa.

She called last night and said, "You're the last person I'm going to talk to in my 20s." And then she told me to have a good day today, "the best day of the year." It is the best day, Mo. Happy 30th birthday - I'm so glad you had to go first. I love you!

Posted by hannah at 09:50 AM | Comments (0)

January 28, 2006

Mornin'

I'm getting ready to to go to the gym, but thought I would take a minute to check my e-mail. Montego is tied up out front and she's already had an exciting morning - my neighbor Howard, who walks the length of our deadend street each a.m., stopped to play with her; and another neighbor, Connie, walked by with her two little Yorkies - Brother and Little Brother. One of those brothers is mean.

Sarah gets married three weeks from today. 21 days. My bridesmaid dress doesn't fit. That's right people. (I blame the girls up top.) Which means that the next 21 days will find me in LA Fitness and little place else.

Wish me luck.

Posted by hannah at 09:52 AM | Comments (2)

January 25, 2006

Roller Coaster

It will come as no surprise to regular readers that 2005 was a tough for year for me. A lot of new stresses (mortgage-related, mostly, but relationship-related as well, for sure) were added to my life and I haven't dealt with everything probably as well as I should have. I have a tendency to hide out and pull away (it's the Cancer way), and yes, lash out. I don't like to think that I spent a great deal of the past year sad or unhappy, but when I look back at it, I guess I did.

The guy I recently stopped seeing said to me the other day that it kills him that when I look back on our relationship it's not with fondness, because he has all these great memories of our time together. Memories he will cherish forever. The weekend after we decided to definitely move from friends to more, he drove me up to Rome, Ga. and showed me around his alma mater and we hung out with some of his friends. Traffic was at a dead stop on I-75 and it took us four hours to make the typically 90-minute drive. But we talked nonstop as we sat there on the interstate, surrounded by cars full of families and college kids who were on their way back to the Midwest after Spring Break in Florida. We finally made it to an exit and took back roads, and stopped for directions at a crazy country gas station that sold hot wings and Rebel Flag paraphernalia, like scrunchies. It was an amazing weekend where we realized we could really fall for each other (and did), but that was also the weekend I met the girl he is currently dating (and, ahem, her then-husband), so no, I don't look back at the weekend with any great fondness.

It seems like most of last year is like that - bright rays of sunlight surrounded by clouds. I got to do fun things: I went to Savannah twice (once with him, so scratch that from the happy memory list) and Florida three times. I spent a weekend in Texas with my dad and brother. I went to Puerto Rico and hosted Thanksgiving at my house (two weeks after I was spectacularly dumped and my heart was broken the entire time). I made a responsible choice by investing in my financial future (I hope) and I ran a half-marathon in Nashville. But I was also sad a lot. When Melissa and I got back from Florida, and I was alone in my house after spending an entire week with her, I felt gutted. She is one of the people in the world who loves me down to my soul, and it took a few days to shake the emptiness I felt in her absence. I remember just standing there alone in my living room, Montego still with the dog-sitter, and thinking, "Well, what now?"

I want this year to be different. I want to wake every morning and do things that will make the world better, not just my life better. I want to fall asleep each night knowing I acted as honorably and as kindly as I could have. I don't want to spend even one more minute feeling sorry for myself and bemoaning my current state. But maybe that's unrealistic. Maybe life this is how life is. It's meant to go up and down and up and down and you just figure out how to ride out the downturns, knowing that at any moment, the rollercoaster is going to start climbing again. And then all you can do is hang on.

Posted by hannah at 01:01 PM | Comments (0)

January 24, 2006

Friendster

Once a month my friends Catherine, Kim, Mary Lee and I meet for sushi at our favorite little place in Virginia-Highlands. It started out as "Sushi Tuesdays," but that had to shift a bit due to schedules and the fact that Mary Lee now has tap class every Tuesday night. Yes, tap class.

Kim and I went to Miami together, and Catherine and Mary Lee went to college together, and the three of them used to work together. (Which is how I met them to begin with.) Two of us are single and two of us are married, which means we always have plenty to talk about. More often than not our conversations revolve around college and earrings and husbands and boys, as most girltalk will, but because we're women we can say things without saying them.

I look forward to our sushi meet-ups for more than the soy or the Super Crunch - I look forward to them because they help keep me sane. When you have touchstones, a place to come back to when your life feels distant and whirling, it makes all the hard stuff survivable. When you have friends who love you, unconditionally, simply because of who you are, it's freeing. I would like to think that I am that kind of friend - the kind who gives because it's what is commanded of me, not because of what is returned.

The older I get, the more I learn about who Jesus really was, the more I feel a greater urge to return the kind of friendship that has been so lavished on me my entire life. It's easy loving people who listen to you, care about you and want the best for you. It's harder to love people who want to tear you down or see you fail or use you for their own pleasure or success. So I try to look past the crazy or the mean or the wicked actions to see what role I played in all of that; to fix cracks I may have caused; to love, as Jesus so simply put it, my enemies. Not because I want to keep them close in order to trip them up or turn the tables or make them "pay." But because it is what was asked of me. Because I have been given to so freely and given so much. Because being a friend to my enemies honors the people who have befriended me, and of course, it honors Him. There's no better, no other, reason than that.

Posted by hannah at 12:16 PM | Comments (0)

January 05, 2006

Sleepy

2006 is kicking off on a fairly quick clip. Today and tomorrow the association I work for is having its midyear meeting, so I'm out of the office at the host hotel for two full days, doing a lot of the hurry up and wait. I love these meetings though - we always make a lot of good memories and it's nice to be with the members, putting faces to e-mail addresses and phone voices.

Normally this meeting falls on the second week of January, so it was a bit of a rush getting everything together after the holiday and short work weeks. It works out though, since next weekend my friend Mary Lee and I are going to Texas, ostensibly to run the Houston Half Marathon. However, since our training has been spotty at best, we'll see if we actually do that. It may just end up being a relaxing three-day weekend at my dad's! I'm looking forward to it, but I always sort of imagined that when I took someone back to Spring and showed them around, that person would be a boyfriend or a husband, not a friend. Still, I think she'll get a kick out of seeing good ole Klein High etc. (Or maybe not. That kind of stuff may only be interesting to the person it relates to.)

I will be out of town at least one weekend a month through July, which is crazy. I have the Houston trip, Sarah's wedding, Vegas, my sister-in-law's baby shower and then in June, the association's annual meeting.

And then... then I turn 30. Everyone hold on tight.

Posted by hannah at 09:13 PM | Comments (4)

December 21, 2005

Year in Review, fill-in-the-blank style

Idea shamelessly stolen from Eliza.

1. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before? I bought a house! I went to the North Georgia Mountains, Puerto Rico, had breakfast with Mickey Mouse and hosted four people at my place for Thanksgiving. Oh! And I ran a half-marathon!

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Considering my only resolution for 2005 was to set myself up to be able to buy a house by the time I turned 30, I think I exceeded expectations.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? No, but T only missed 2005 by about 4 weeks, so I think she counts.

4. Did anyone close to you die? My mother’s sister, Jo, died in August.

5. What countries did you visit? Does Puerto Rico count?

6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005? Financial stability! (But that’s boring and everyone wants that.) Can I just be really pathetic for a second and say a healthy, romantic relationship based on mutual adoration and admiration?

7. What dates from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
March 29 - I closed on my house.
April 6
April 30 – I ran the Country Music Half-Marathon
November 15 – Found out my brother and his wife are pregnant!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? This will probably start to sound repetitive, but Buying the House. (And running the Half.)

9. What was your biggest failure? Gaining back about a 1/3 of the weight I worked so hard to lose.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? No – I’m a lucky, healthy girl.

11. What was the best thing you bought? Wait for it. . . The House. (Also the worst.)

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? My friend J0shua who went above and beyond in all things house related.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Personally? See above for things non-house related. Otherwise – the Federal Government’s response to Katrina.

14. Where did most of your money go? Can you guess? The House.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? I get really, really, really excited about a lot of things so that’s hard to say. The House, camping, my birthday, receiving roses at work, going to Florida with Mo, seeing Alison Krauss live, Disney!, the Stone Mountain laser show, Starbucks in the morning, cookie parties.

16. What song will always remind you of 2005? I just can’t possibly narrow this down. Anything by Keane, Nickel Creek or Ray Lamontagne.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a)happier or sadder? Both – I am always some crazy combination
b)thinner or fatter? Sadly, EXACTLY the same.
c) richer or poorer? Financially, poorer. Without question. But I’d like to think I’m richer in the things that matter.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Relaxed! I wasted too much time worrying about things that never happened, or were of no consequence.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Spending!

20. How will you be spending Christmas? In Ohio with my mother, stepfather and maternal extended family.

21. Did you fall in love in 2005? Stupidly, yes.

22. How many one-night stands? None.

23. What was your favorite TV program? Arrested Development!

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? Of course not.

25. What was the best book you read? This is cheesy, but I thoroughly enjoyed the Traveling Pants series.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery? Ray Lamontagne, probably. I wore that CD out last winter/spring.

27. What did you want and get? The House! (And what did I NOT want and get? A new car.)

28. What did you want and not get? An iPod. But there’s still time!

29. What was your favorite film of this year? I didn’t go to many movies in 2005, and nothing really stands out. Most recently, probably HP4.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 29 on June 30 and it was fantastic. My birthday seemed to last for weeks and it was a banner year.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? I honestly can't think of anything.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004? New clothes – since I had to buy smaller sizes a few times! Otherwise, I am all about denim and flip flops. I would wear them to work if I could. (I actually, do, sometimes.)

33. What kept you sane? My friends. Montego.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Forever and always: Vince Vaughn.

35. What political issue stirred you the most? Poverty.

36. Whom did you miss? My mother!

37. Who was the best new person you met? That’s a secret.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005. I am not now, and have never been, and never will be, alone.

Posted by hannah at 04:36 PM | Comments (3)

December 20, 2005

Friends

Everyone needs friends. What is it that they say? "No man is an island"? No woman is either, especially not this one.

2005 has been a hard year for me - buying the house was incredibly stressful and that stress hasn't abated much in the 8 months since I've become a homeowner. The year has been filled with a lot of growing pains, but I think I will come out of it on Jan. 1 a stronger, wiser person, and I suppose that's the point.

But I wouldn't have survived any of it without the women who surround me. I could never do them justice, not in words and not in deeds, and I'm not sure one photo would even hold all of them. I may not know anything about how to be in a romantic relationship, but I have been blessed beyond measure in friendship.

For now, and perhaps for the rest of my life, they are enough.

Posted by hannah at 12:25 PM | Comments (0)

December 16, 2005

Like the Weather

It must be because I'm a Cancer, or just a woman, but it seems as if my moods shift with the wind. Today it's Friday and for some freak reason Sarah, Mary and I wore coordinating outfits, which was perfect as today everyone got their photos taken in front of our building tree by our resident photographer. He took approximately 100 of us, so hopefully a few will be framable.

I know it's cliché, and one I like to drum up often, but I am constantly amazed by the passage of time. Just barely a year ago I carried my cell phone in my pocket constantly, just waiting to hear the word that Teri had gone into labor. And now Adam is here and he's already a little boy and I can barely remember a time when Teri wasn't someone's mommy. I always knew she'd be a great mother - she's already a good daughter, sister, wife and friend - but I am impressed daily by how great a mom she really is. Sarah always says that when it's time for her to have kids, she's just going to go to Teri with all her questions and needs. And I know she's not kidding!

And this morning my brother sent me ultrasound photos of the baby my sister-in-law is carrying. I've viewed them a million times and each time I look at them, I am amazed again. Nothing has ever made me happier, and for a Pollyanna, that is saying something.

It's Christmas and though I have a million things to do, I'm lucky that I do. There are parties and lunches and gift exchanges and book club. There is hot chocolate to drink and cookies still to be made. I'm lucky. May I never forget it.

Posted by hannah at 10:26 AM | Comments (2)

December 15, 2005

Blah Humbug

Today is not a good day. I started the morning by forgetting my cell phone, being late to work and walking into my office to a ringing phone and a woman on it yelling at me. It's rainy outside and people are freaking out because of the ICE, dear god, the ICE!

The weather in Ohio is terrible and if for some reason I am unable to drive home for Christmas, well, that would be just about the worst thing in the world. It was awful last year and I still made it, but it's always a risk. I'm keeping up hope.

Somehow in the next seven days I have to squeeze in baking, wrapping, finishing cards and shopping and somehow go on three dates. Complain, complain, I know.

I read about this book where a woman said yes to anyone who asked her out over a year period. She ended up going on dates with around 150 guys and 2 women. It's a strategy I'm trying to employ, but it is exhausting because when I'm not interested in someone, it's usually a safe assumption that they'll be crazy about me. And I am incapable of saying no to a second or third, or god help me, fourth date. It's a cycle I need to learn to break, but right now I have no time.

Last night I went to a happy hour with some friends and he was there and it was uncomfortable and awful. It was only the second time I've seen him in a month and he couldn't understand why I tensed up every time he tried to hug me. "Well, you look beautiful," he said. I had no words - still don't. It is what it is and it sucks, but you can't change people and it's a lesson I've learned over and over again. When someone shows you who they are, BELIEVE them. I need to keep learning it - hopefully one day it will stick.

Posted by hannah at 09:44 AM | Comments (2)

November 29, 2005

Famous by Proxy

So my friends make music. Really amazing music. And guess what they did? They went and recorded a CD. And guess what else? You can buy it! So go do that, won't you? I hear they make great stocking stuffers.

Posted by hannah at 01:12 PM | Comments (1)

November 08, 2005

Hola, Adios

I'm going to Puerto Rico on Thursday, which means I am about to get on a PLANE and FLY there over WATER. Yes, I know it makes me crazy to be scared, but I am anyway. I try to get over that by imagining myself poolside at the Ritz, asking a beautiful Puerto Rican server to bring me another drink, but that image doesn't always help. It's a work trip, which means my expenses will be small (a good thing as I literally have $13 in my checking account till Friday), and it's a little ungrateful to not want to go, but I sort of don't.

I've just been so stressed lately, with work and volunteering (volunteering should not make you stressed but oh my lord, it does), and my "love" life and missing my family something fierce. My homesickness has somewhat lifted, mostly because my dad called this weekend and told me that he and my stepmother, Ginger, would like to come here for Thanksgiving. I'm estatic about this. We'll probably get premade food and eat at my house, while we watch lots of movies and eat leftovers. There will definitely be a trip to the new Georgia Aquarium and my dad has wanted to see Stone Mountain since I moved here, so I'll relent this year. I'm hoping there will also be shopping and perhaps not-so-subtle-iPod-hints.

My desk looks like a paper monster gave birth and even though I have to put on a bathing suit in 48 hours I haven't worked out since I ran on Saturday. And today was our work "Thanksgiving," so my tight pants aren't helping me to not freak out over my impending bikinidom.

If I can get through today and tomorrow and my 8 a.m. flight across one time zone and one very large sea, I'll be fine. I can do this. Bikini not withstanding.

Posted by hannah at 04:03 PM | Comments (4)

October 31, 2005

Boo

I'm sort of a Halloween Grinch. I don't like dressing up and I don't like how this "holiday" brings out the worst in people, specifically women. Otherwise capable, intelligent, sophisticated women can't wait to be some pimp's "ho" for a radio station-sponsored party and I just find the whole thing gross. So I avoid all things costume-related and instead do things like carve pumpkins and eat candy corn. This either makes me 89 or a prude, or both, but I prefer it this way. There are no fishnets involved.

Posted by hannah at 11:15 AM | Comments (2)

September 14, 2005

Look What I Bought

My 1996 Honda Accord EX, lovingly referred to as Old Crappy, finally died on me by way of a choking, sputtering transmission. They say, with proper care, that Hondas will last forever. Well, mine made it 130k miles, and got me through seven years, two states and seven moves. While that's not really Forever in Hondaland, it was long enough.

On Saturday, J0shua and I spent the day zipping around in my rental looking for a replacement Accord EX to no avail. Most of the dealers said they could put me in a base model brand new '05 Accord for less than a used EX, so hot are Accords right now in our high gas price world. But I'm a snob, and a girl, and have to have leather. (When you're making 60 payments, it's important to love and be excited about what you're making those payments on. Though I've never had a brand spankin' new car, and it would've been thrilling to drive a car off the lot with 0 miles, I would've felt resentful that Old Crappy's untimely demise put me in a car that I wasn't excited about, tied to it with a 5-year loan.)

We popped into an Acura dealer for kicks (really), and many hours, converstaions and negotiations later I drove home in the most AMAZING car ever. On my 16th birthday in June 1992 I became the proud driver of an '86 Acura Integra and I've been looking for that car ever since, in a way, and here it is - 16 years newer and 16,000 times cleaner.

J0shua said he's a little scared of me in a car with so much power (though he did say that I'm a good "girl driver," in front of a salesperson no less), but it's thrilling to know that I can make a left-hand turn on Cobb Parkway and not worry about my car stalling on its way across