June 24, 2008
Thoughts on Marriage, 53 Days In
There are unexpected things that are different about being married (besides the obvious). For one, the fridge is always full. I feel like I'm at my mom's house, or Doug and Sarah's. I haven't had a fridge full of food like this in all my adult life, probably.
You also forget that what you think is normal is really a quirk. Who knew people could have such radically different sleep preferences? Over the weekend, Aaron and I hung white cotton curtains over the window shades in our bedroom and I said how I hoped they would block the light out better. He laughed and said, "I'm sure it's fine, Dracula." He could sleep in a fully lit room with sirens blaring. I need it dark dark dark and quiet as can be. (A problem when 3 of the 6 bodies sleeping in our room snore like crazy.)
I love many things about Aaron, but one of my favorite things about him is that he joins in with me when I'm singing crazy songs featuring the dogs. One of our favorite regulars is "Snout, snout, let it all out." We have about 3 verses. The first time he did it, he filled in the next few lines with exactly the right (wrong) words and I thought, "Wow. Is this the guy for me or what?" We were dancing around the kitchen last night, singing a song about Julie the Bulldog and in that moment I hoped everyone has moments of silly happiness like that in their lives.
My mom asked me how I was doing not having any alone time, as I'm the type who likes her solitude more often than not. I think in that regard this new job has been a blessing, because by the time I get home I've had two hours alone in the car and a full day at an office of three. I'm ready to talk and be around Aaron by 6 p.m. That is for certain.
When Aaron says grace, he always has so much to thank God for, and it's such a humbling reminder that first and foremost and every day, I should be full of gratitude. Thank you for marriage, God, he'll pray, after we've had an argument. I think, yes, God, thank you for marriage. For putting someone beside me who sees me as I am, not as who I pretend to be. It's humbling. You can't get away with faking much when you're married. I used to wonder what could have possibly gone wrong when celebrities divorced after 30 days (or something similarly ridiculous). Now I think I get it a little bit. Someone saw the truth in them, and neither party liked it very much.
I am very grateful that I had those few weeks to acclimate to the move and to being married. We had so many big changes right on top of one another that I needed a few days where I could just do some laundry and buy pillows and get used to all of this.
Minnesota is a pioneer state, and in some ways I feel like a pioneer. I'm in unchartered territory, and I'm just trying to find my way.
Posted by hannah at 02:27 PM
