September 26, 2007
And So It Begins
As you may have gathered from my last entry, I am engaged. We are engaged. And so begins the much written about, much discussed, much hyped process of planning a wedding.
It all still feels surreal. The engagement. This very shiny, sparkley thing on my finger that I've had to learn to navigate around. (Note: Do not put anything in left jeans pocket.) Having to catch myself and remember that they are talking to me when people ask how the plans are coming. I am sure that this is something that all brides encounter - the very weirdness of being a bride - but it is strange when you're the one encountering it, nonetheless.
Because A. and I both tend to border more on the Type A side of the Type A/Type B personality line, plans have been falling into place quickly and without the drama or hair pulling sitcoms would have you believe goes into weddings. We knew it probably wouldn't be in Atlanta and since we both love the ocean, choosing Florida was easy. And since I have been vacationing on the Gulf Coast for almost a decade, deciding where in Florida was without much discussion too. And when I saw the venue, I didn't even want to waste my time looking anywhere else. I knew I'd found it.
The most difficult thing in this entire process so far has been learning to let go of my single identity. And I don't mean in a I'll-miss-dating (I won't) or I'll-miss-the-freedom kind of way. It's more that I have had to remember and realize that there are many roads and facets of my former life that are now closed to me. When my friends and small group were discussing heading down to the church's Singles Labor Day Retreat, I thought, "Oh - I guess I won't ever go to that again." And when the bulletin at church promotes a singles' gathering, I realize that my friends will send e-mails that won't include me.
One of my most fervent prayers is to be a Godly wife and to have a Godly marriage. But let no one be mistaken: it is hard. Being a submissive wife isn't something that you see modeled in secular culture - not on television or in any movies or even in commercials. Most people I know have secular marriages, so it's not even something I see played out in my daily life. And the majority of my Christian friends are single, so that places me, and us, in totally unknown territory. Luckily for us (and for everyone) the only model we'll really need is the one that Jesus displayed when he submitted himself to the will of His father and died on the cross. I would never be aghast at the idea of submitting to Christ, so why would I hesitate to submit to my spouse? (Ephesians 5:21 - "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.")
Engagement is a journey in and of itself and thus far it hasn't been without its pot holes and road blocks. It's funny - there are hundreds of books and shows on Oxygen and the Style network (and E! and VH1 and TLC and...) that prominently feature wedding planning (ice bars! monogrammed aisle runners! candy buffets!) But when it comes to planning for marriage the well is pretty dry.
So I try to not get too wrapped up in what kind of musicians we'll have for the ceremony (guitarists? flautists? violinists? all three?!), and instead I try to get wrapped up in him. And in Him.
Posted by hannah at 05:41 PM
