February 02, 2007

"You're my beeeest frieeeend!"

Today I mailed in a signed receipt and dress order for a bridesmaid dress I'll wear in Melissa's March wedding. This will mark my fourth venture as a bridesmaid, and though I was thrilled to stand up for Teri, my brother and Sarah, there is something different about this wedding. Maybe it's because of our age - seeing your 31-year-old friend get married is different than watching your 25-year-old friend get married - or maybe it's because of the past Melissa and I share. Not all that long ago, we were Carrie and Charlotte, Rachel and Monica, J.D. and Turk - single best friends in the city, dating, "dating," and find our ways in the world.

Most of that story has been chronicled on this site - a record I am grateful for - and as we prepare to enter the next chapters of our lives (though my life will only change in so much as it's affected by the changing of hers), it's hard to not reminisce about all the days that have gone before.

Of all of my friends, Melissa is the only one whose road has been similar to my own. She is the only one who understands what it is like to be the only one not married, the only one not seen as a Real Adult because you're 27, 28, 29, 30 and unmarried. She is the only person in the world - literally in the entire world - who knows the deep depth and breadth of my sin. But she loves me just the same as she did the chilly Columbus night we became friends; the night I dared her to sing "Cool Rider" down High Street's sidewalk and she did it.

I will never forget the moment when we stood in the Columbus Vineyard many, many years ago now, and the worship music began and Melissa dropped into her seat next to me, knocked down by tears. I knew in that very second that her life would never be the same and I was right. I've known few people who love God out loud as much as she does. There is no embarrassment, no shame, no fear. She is just in LOVE with Him, and everyone who meets her can see it.

There were several times during Passion when I was completely humbled by her example. There's a guy who volunteers at and attends Buckhead and he's a high-functioning Autistic and often he's hard to interact with. I know people - good, honest, God-fearing, Christian people - who don't really know how to befriend him; how to love him. He was a fellow Touch Team volunteer during Passion, and Melissa was in his presence for 15 seconds before she'd befriended him. Later, I told her how much seeing that knocked me down, because here I'd been around him dozens of times and hadn't managed to connect with him the way she had in just a few moments. He works in Waumba land and he attended Labor Day Retreat and I'd had DOZENS of opportunities to become his friend, and I'd skirted every one, because I was uncomfortable. She smiled softly at me and said, "When I meet people like [him], I just get this vision in my heart of the way God sees him. God sees [him] as royalty."

When I look back on the road of my 20s I can now see - with the benefit of 20/20 hindsight - the way God used our friendship to capture both of our hearts for Him. I introduced her to a church experience and a way of seeing Jesus she'd never seen before, and she showed me what it can really look like to live a life in His will; what it looks like to be chained to Freedom.

We have spent many, many, many, MANY hours talking about relationships and men and love and what it would be like to be truly loved by a husband and it is awesome - awesome! - to see that come true for her. We've both had ample opportunities to settle; there have been men in both of our pasts who, according to the world's standards, were Perfect Husband Material. There have been men in both our pasts who we loved blindly, despite everyone - and I mean everyone - seeing how bad they were for us. "I didn't like who you were when you were with him," is something we have each said to the other, and it's further proof of the miracle of our friendship and the miracle of God's love for us that we escaped those relationships with our hearts in tact.

Sometimes you just love people with all your heart and the gift of their friendship alone is worth forever praising Him. Melissa is a gift, and as she prepares for this amazing adventure ahead of her, I feel blessed to stand on the side of the road to wish her well.

Posted by hannah at 10:44 AM