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March 02, 2006

Important as It Seems

Beautiful spring days, like the one Atlanta experienced yesterday, always whisk up memories of Miami. I know that I wax nostalgic about college quite often, maybe it's because I have more stories form those days than the entire Internet could ever hold; maybe it's because it was such a time of freedom, growth and discovery that I feel it's important to remind myself of who I was then, of how that girl made me the woman I am today.

Right now Satellite by Dave Matthews Band is playing on my iPod and just hearing this song gives me a giddy feeling in my stomach - the way I felt when we would put on lip gloss and pack Boone's Farm into our bags and trek over to the Sammy house to hang out with our friends who made us laugh and laugh and laugh and where I kissed the cutest little Jewish boy from Maryland. My sophomore year I lived in an all-women residence hall on an all-women quad in this beautiful red brick building that was built in the early 1900s. Our room had hardwood floors and crown moulding and our window overlooked a sidewalk that led into the quad and there was a beautiful blooming tree that filled our room with fragrance and petals. We would sit at the window, Dana and I, and we would smoke Marlboro Light 100s and switch out CDs on my little stereo - Alanis, 311, Dave Matthews, Portishead.

There was an article out the other day about well-paying jobs that don't require a four-year degree. I think it's great that there are opportunities and options for people who may not be able to afford university or for people who don't think it's for them. But for me going off to college was never just about getting a bachelor's - I'm glad I have it, and I know I wouldn't have had the work experience I've had without it - but it was about more than that. I chose Miami because it was exactly what I wanted for my college experience - we were insulated, surrounded by history and beautiful brick buildings and tradition. There were seals you had to avoid, and statues to rub and ringing bells and arches to kiss under. There were red steps and a water tower and an actual "Uptown." I've said this before, and I'm willing to admit that maybe other people feel this way about their alma mater (though I doubt it), but even now, if I were to meet another Miami alumnus, we would be able to know, just by a look and a smile, that we share something unique. When we have alumni gatherings in Atlanta, there is never a lull in conversation. Regardless of grad year, from 1963 to 2003, each person I've met has a love and affinity for Miami that matches mine. Maybe that's why they come to these events, or maybe it's something a little more than that. I'll even admit that I feel a little sorry for people who didn't get to have a "real" college experience - whether by choice or circumstance.

I am also so grateful that I went to school at the time in history I did - before the glut of e-mail, the Internet, cell phones, caller I.d. - before technology robbed college of what makes it college. How do you get a cute guy to come to your apartment if you can just e-mail him your notes instead of loaning him your notebook? How do you crawl from bar to bar looking for that specific person when you can just track them down with a few phone calls from your perch at Saloon? (Not that Saloon still exists, but if it did, that was where I would have been perched come 2 a.m.) How do you forget the night before if everyone's texting photos the morning after? We were never innocent - lost innocence is what previous generations bemoan because they forgot how they themselves once acted. I have no illusions about behavior I engaged in, but we got away with a lot more because there was no technology to bust us. When I was a freshman, the Internet was basically a way to read about the cast of Friends, but when it came to writing a paper, it was still all Dewey Decimal and card catalogs.

I read an article in Glamour/Self/Marie-Claire or some such that college girls are ending up inebriated on web sites and videos and they have no recollection or remembrance of signing a waiver (if they even did). Their privacy is being violated simply because they're engaging in behavior that college girls have been engaging in since the dawn of time. This behavior ain't new, but the consequences definitely are. My junior year I attended a fraternity date party with a toga theme. Before the party all the girls were told to meet at the seal outside the library where we were met by a group of pledges who escorted us up the slantwalk to the house. We were then locked inside the library and given only wine and vodka to drink for about two hours. Once it was dark outside, our dates came in and found us and the party began for real. I doubt this party still exists - for one, the fraternity was disbanded my senior year and when it came back it came back as a dry chapter - but to think about that scenario with today's technology scares me to death.

You make a lot of really, really dumb decisions when you're 18, 19, 20 years old. You think nothing is more important than this guy, this class, this grade and you forget that you still have a whole lot of life left to live. Even at 29 I sometimes forget that I still have a whole lot of life left to live and that nothing, and no one, is as important as it seems.

Posted by hannah at 01:17 PM