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January 10, 2006

Well With My Soul

For Christmas my cousin Colleen gave me Selah’s “Greatest Hymns” CD. I love old hymns, almost as much as I love modern worship, and when they are combined, I am in heaven. (So to speak.) On Boxing Day my mother and I made the short trip over to Dayton to go shopping and we listened to the disc on the drive. I discovered that my favorite hymn, “How Great Thou Art,” is also MeMe’s favorite, (which I realize isn’t that uncanny considering it is one of the most popular and well-loved hymns of all time). The final hymn on the CD is “It Is Well With My Soul,” and my mom told me the story of the author – how he lost his four daughters to the sea when their passage from America to England sank in the Atlantic. When he made the trip a few weeks later to meet up with their mother, who had sent a telegram stating simply “SAVED ALONE,” he wrote this hymn as the ship passed over the spot where his daughters died.

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

It’s a powerful message on its own, but to realize this simple man was submissive enough, humble enough, godly enough, to say that even in such a tragedy, it is well with his soul – it makes my petty resistance to God, to His perfect plan for me, seem bratty and contemptuous. Its lyrics have stayed with me the past few weeks, never far from my tongue, or my heart.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blessed assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

On Sunday – my first service back since Dec. 18 – the message was about the oft quoted Romans 8:28. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

The message was a short one to help us frame this new year of 2006 – to prepare for the unexpected bumps in the road every new year holds - knowing that God is in control and that because He loves us (despite our inability to love him as much in return), everything will ultimately work out. (I think the hated cliché “Everything happens for a reason!” could trace its roots back to this verse.)

Paul, who authored Romans, didn’t mean that because we are Christians only good things would happen to us. Or even that we DESERVE to only have good things happen to us – I think he meant simply that God’s plan is bigger than we can ever see and that because His plan is perfect, because His directs our paths, that all things will eventually work toward the good. (Even if it’s not a personal good.)

Jeff, who taught on Sunday, went back to Acts, to the story of the Stephen, as an example. On its face the stoning of Stephen was a terrible act and one that served to scatter the newborn Christian movement. A passive observer of that stoning, Saul, went on to become one of the movement’s greatest persecutors and haters. If you continue reading the book of Acts you will learn that Jesus visited Saul, whose heart was changed as well as his name – to Paul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

At the end of the service, a man came out and sang “It Is Well With My Soul” a cappella. I couldn’t believe it. It was one of those moments where, if you do not stand up and take notice, it is only your own blindness contributing to your despair.

I’m not a theologian. There is much that I do not understand. But it is a comfort knowing that my instinct of everything happening for a reason – of seeing how the puzzles fit together with 20/20 hindsight – is such because God will never disappoint me. At almost 30 my life is nothing like I imagined it would be. Nothing. But I know that I have been led here, and I know that as long as I keep choosing to believe (because faith is a choice), He will never let me down.

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

Posted by hannah at 10:38 AM