December 24, 2005
Sweet Sleep
I am at my mother's in Small Town, Ohio and it's too early to be awake on my vacation. But it is impossible to sleep-in in this house. First, it's nearly 100 years old so voices carry and noise travels and the radiator next to my bed knocks and rattles. You then factor in the fact that my mother, an early-bird her entire life, and my stepfather, a retired cattleman, get up pre-dawn and it's futile to try and stay under the covers, no matter how tired you may be. (Oh, and did I mention the THREE grandfather clocks?)
I drove up yesterday, pulling out of my driveway at 6 a.m. and pulling into theirs at 3 p.m. on the button. It was an easy trip, thanks to the dry roads and blue skies. I expected the traffic to be heavier, but it wasn't bad at all. I only passed one accident, on northern Kentucky just south of the Ohio River, after 75 and 71 merge. (If an accident like that had happened on the connector in Atlanta, I would've sat there for hours.)
There are about 30-40 people (sadly that number decreases every year, as my family continues to get smaller), coming over tonight and my mother is already in a frenzy. We'll eat food and the little ones will get gifts and I will get asked, approximately 30 to 40 times, why I don't have a boyfriend. My cousin Colleen, who is two years older than me, is in a significant relationship now, so I can't even hide behind her. I'll stand alone, the 29-year-old spinster and my rural cousins, who started their families in high school, will look at me with curious eyes.
But what can you do? It's Christmas.
Posted by hannah at 08:35 AM
Oh girl, I feel you. Grandma bought a book recently with me in mind and saw fit to lend it to me last night. The title? Smart Love: How to Find the One You Want and Fix the One You Got by none other than Dr. Phil McGraw. ;)
Posted by Alison on December 25, 2005 01:47 AMThey only stare because they all think you're a secret lesbian. In fact, their husbands have an ongoing wager on it. Actually, your cousin Ron has never forgiven you, really, for not coming out at Christmas '99; he'd expected to win it all that year, and that's why Shellie's Doughboy above-ground pool had to stay on layaway for another four months. It was top of the line, too. He had to pretend like those pink ice earrings were all he meant to give her for Christmas, and she took that shit out on him until Valentine's Day, at least.
The pool sprung a leak last year and ruined the sod over about 55% of the backyard. Ever since the health benefits down at the plant went up, Ron doesn't have as much "mad money" for the lawn anymore, and Shellie won't let him replace it. Every time he looks at the brown patches under the maples he gets a sick feeling in his stomach about that damned pool, and now he's got to go back to Christmas dinner and think about you and how you're not married, and how if you'd just have come out already like you were supposed to maybe he would've gotten the pool when he meant to and the leak would've come before he put that sod down. Not that it's your fault. It's just weird you're not married, is all.
(Oh wait. That's my family.)
Posted by Mary on December 25, 2005 11:47 PMHA!
Posted by Hannah on December 26, 2005 05:22 PM
