November 21, 2005
Make like a tree and leave
I've spent the past 7+ months of homeownership doing everything I can to avoid yard work. The first few months I was in the house I hired a guy to mow before I finally broke down and bought a (very basic) lawnmower. After that, I only actually mowed the front yard twice and never touched the back. Luckily my back yard is very little grass and lots of ivy, so it wasn't too jungle-y back there. Besides, I think the bunnies liked it.
So it should surprise no one that I put off raking as long as possible. I have two medium-sized trees in my front yard, plus a very tall pine and a humungous tree in the back that spewed leaves all over my roof, into my gutters and covered my front and back yards as well as my deck. Needless to say it was a leaf fest.
But my dad, stepmother, brother and sister-in-law are all descending upon Atlanta for Thanksgiving and I couldn't let them think I was some girly irresponsible homeowner who allowed leaves to rot on her her steps, yard and rooftop. So this weekend I busted out the rake, the lawn and leaf bags and went to work.
Two blisters, eight lawn bags and a huge curbside pile later, I finished only the front. Who knew raking was so hard? Who knew piles of pine straw could be so heavy? Why was I throwing all this pine straw away when only months earlier I went to Lowe's and PURCHASED pine straw? Why don't I pick up my dog's poop? These were all important questions. Ones I probably won't ask until next November.
There are a lot of things I still want to buy for my house and do to the interior (paint the bedrooms, buy bookshelves, rugs, artwork, patio furniture) what I want more than anything is for a professional landscaper to show up and just tell me how to fix my yard. Every time there's a heavy rain all the pine straw and pine bark wash out of the beds. So I have quite a few spots with the weed cover visible thanks to Dennis and Cindy, and I realize how tacky and wrong that is. But I have neither the talent nor money to fix it. If anyone wants to nominate me for Bushwhacked, I'll give you my address.
And as for raking the back yard? It can just leaf me alone.*
*You knew that joke was coming.
Posted by hannah at 10:29 AM
Well there you go. Complain about your weight, and then miss out on an opportunity to be active and lose weight. Why do guys ‘think your wonderful’ but won’t commit to you? Because it’s politically incorrect to sat “Your fat and that turns me off.”
How about pulling a few weeds the next time you start thinking about gorging yourself on cookies and ice cream? Got leaves? Rake them during the fall. Wondering how to improve your yard? Get out and talk to some landscapers. Stop looking for someone to ‘help’ you. Help yourself, and you will then wonder why it was sooo easy to sit on your rear end and grow larger before.
Get out and be active and stop crying about “how sorry your life is and that no one wants me and that blah, blah, blah.”
Grow up.
jeez, Appalled, if it bothers you so much about what Hannah does or doesn't do, why do you keep reading?
Posted by Meghan on November 21, 2005 04:15 PMThat guy is AWESOME. Actually, it's probably a woman.
Posted by Hannah on November 22, 2005 08:47 AMYou mean "grow up" like someone who comes in and snipes anonymously because he got his little panties in a wad about something?
Posted by Al on November 22, 2005 10:20 AMStop busting on my finance, y'all.
Also, Hannah, if I have a chance, I will write you the entry about how I raked my wet leaves to the curb last night with my giant platform shoes. At least you had the good sense to use a rake!
Posted by Coleen on November 22, 2005 02:45 PMI suggest we send the newest version of Spellcheck to the asshat above. I swear that if I was EVER going to flame somebody, the very least I would do would be to make sure I spelled things correctly so that I didnt look like an even bigger asshat than I already was. I like the word asshat. LOL I dont usually use naughty words either.
Posted by Corie on November 22, 2005 06:30 PMHey Apalled is back! I'm guessing you're either
1) You're a bloke who needs a smack in the head.
2) You're a thin, well dressed, immaculately groomed woman who can't understand why people still avoid your company.
Either way - you're still a tosser. Surely your right hand is tired by now - better swap to your left before you get carpal tunnel syndrome.
Posted by Phil on November 22, 2005 11:38 PMwow, that first poster is a total jackass... not to mention a bad speller. coincidence????
hannah, if you buy an electric mower/mulcher, all your pine needle problems will be history (except for the ones still falling from the tree). you just have to be careful not to run over the cord. otherwise it's a great solution! you don't even have to rake.
Posted by erin on November 24, 2005 04:09 AMHannah, you are correct. I am AWESOME and I am a guy. By the way, you're plenty hot already the way you are. Especially with that pouty lower lip thing you have going on. Very sexy and I'm not kidding. The Minnie pic was great.
Al, back off. Your huge and I am not directing anything at you. Stop being an enabler to Hannah.
Corie, you are so lame that you have to advertise the wonderful company that you work for when leaving a message? Get a life.
Phil, you're a schlep. Just because you travel does not make you worthy of responding. Deal with your sexual orientation issues first.
Erin, you are causing your lawn a slow death by what you suggest. The acidity will kill your grass over time by chopping up all those pine needles. Rake 'em up and us them for mulch.
Posted by Apalled on November 28, 2005 03:40 PM
