28
September 2001
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I bought a pack of cigarettes tonight. I'm not sure why exactly as I don't smoke anymore. I just thought, hey, I might want to sit on my porch and drink beer and what if I don't have any cigarettes to smoke? Because you just never know. Work could not end fast enough, especially since I spent the last four hours in a roving meeting. We have a mock store in one of the buildings on campus and being in there is so surreal. You feel like you're in EveryStore in EveryMall. It's disconcerting, even more so when you add in the no windows factor. I told Liv that it could be midnight outside for all we knew. Plus the ashy smell from the bonfire pit had wafted inside. At first it felt Christmas-ey and warm but after about two hours I kept getting this flash fear that the building was actually on fire. B.A., Miranda and Liv's boss, told me that he came into work very early this morning, so there was unusual silence. He heard a plane and it sounded not only louder than normal, but also like it was circling. (Our office isn't far from the airport, so it's possible that the plane was circling.) He said he braced himself for imminent strike. Half-jokingly he asked me, 'Is that post-traumatic stress?' B.A. was in New York, on his way to LaGuardia, at 9 a.m. on Tuesday, September 11. The next two days he holed up in his hotel room, doing what I don't know. Looking out the window? Watching t.v.? Trying to work? On Thursday he took the train to Philly where he rented a car. When I saw him that Friday it was all I could do to not hug him, and I'm pretty sure he wanted to hug me back. (I still want to hug him. But I pretty much want to hug everyone all the time. The impulse has just been heightened lately.) The next day he boarded a plane with his longtime girlfriend and flew to Hawaii. There, on the sands of Maui, he became her husband. Life goes on, right? Tonight Montego and I went to the park where she ran around and I laughed. Not able to quench my desire to swing, I finally gave in and hopped on. Since it's hard to swing and hold a leash at the same time, all the time trying to not clock your dog on the downswing, I finally picked Tego up and held her in my lap. A little blonde girl got on the swing next to me, gliding on her belly. She laughed at the sight of me, swinging with a dog on my lap. Life goes on.
The notify says Go Bucks!
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