Choose Well — Wedded Wednesday
Posted on | January 27, 2010 | 6 Comments
The best way to have a good marriage is to pay attention to the character of the person that you married.
The book of Proverbs has a lot to say about this matter, in fact. The spouse you choose can make or break your life.
Proverbs 21 says that it’s better to live on the corner of a roof than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home (9) and that it’s also better to live alone in the desert than with a complaining wife (19).
And though it says “wife” (and believe me I take that to heart, because I do not want to be that kind of person), I think it goes either way.
Better to be single—forever even—than to marry the wrong person. Than to marry someone who will make your life harder, not better. Better to live on the roof, Proverbs tells us, than in a mansion with a bad spouse.
And I know that’s easy to say from this side of marraige vows, but I have to tell you that though I am married to a good man, a man with character who is not quarrelsome or a complainer, that marriage is still hard. So why stack the deck against yourself?
I have been coming back to this draft all day, trying to expand on what I’ve written above, but I guess I don’t really have much more to say about it than this: Choose well. Choose carefully. Your life depends on it.
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6 Responses to “Choose Well — Wedded Wednesday”
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Compassion
January 28th, 2010 @ 9:26 am
Thanks for this wisdom from the other side.
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January 28th, 2010 @ 11:53 am
Amen! From time to time I think about how absolutely miserable I would have been if I had gone through with marrying the man I was engaged to prior to meeting my hubby. Without a doubt, we would have ended up divorced. I’m so thankful for having chosen a man with such integrity & good moral character, to help pull us through the rough times.
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January 28th, 2010 @ 12:00 pm
This may sound simplistic but the hardest part of choosing wisely – for me, at least – was truly knowing myself. The person you think you want may in fact be very different from the person who best complements you and it’s scary to face that. Those of you who found that person early or easily, know that you are lucky!
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January 28th, 2010 @ 5:27 pm
Oh, Molly, I don’t think that’s simplistic at all. It’s true. I didn’t even fully know myself when I found my husband, but he was clearly the first person I’d ever dated who brought out the best in me. (And I’m glad I didn’t marry back when I thought it was a good idea to date guys who didn’t bring out the best in me.) I am in awe of anyone who marries young and marries well- it seems like a hard trick to pull off.
hannah´s last blog ..Well HELLO I am Seven Months Old
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January 28th, 2010 @ 6:26 pm
I am quite generous and when I am feeling quarellsome I let my spouse have the whole roof, not just the corner.
We’ve been a couple for 13 years, but I still roll my eyes at the people who think that meant we were ready for marriage in our early 20s. Some people might have been, and many people make that work, but why try to force it on a couple? We had been together for 8.5 years before we were married, and I don’t regret one minute of it. But I also wouldn’t have gotten married any earlier. When I was 17, 18, 19, whatever, he factored into my plans but not as a life partner. We both needed that time to be ourselves, for ourselves. We got lucky, and grew up together to find we were still in the same place and wanting the same things. And now we make the choice to keep growing together every day.
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January 29th, 2010 @ 9:16 pm
Jake and I met when I was 23 and got married when I was 25! I was a child bride! Boy, we got lucky… but boy, am I quarrelsome and complaining sometimes. A lot. I am going to remember those verses (and tell Jake to gently remind me of them, too).
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