20
October 2003
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I didn't get to Austin till about 9 p.m. on Friday night and after a day of sitting through panels at the workshop in St. Louis and spending way too many hours in the STL airport, I'd about had it. Dawn and her boyfriend were nice enough to pick me up from the airport and they were waiting for me by the time I got my bag. We drove straight to the Omni and I stumbled into everyone in the hotel bar. I was totally out of it, so if I met you for the first time then and I acted like "Oh, it's you," I apologize. I was still kicking it business cajze and all I could think about were my flip-flops. I checked into my room, after it took me about twenty minutes to figure out why there were about 100 sets of elevators, and slipped into said flip-flops. I made it back down to the bar where I got the bartender's attention long enough to order the spiciest bloody mary ever. (I even broke my Bloody Marys Only Before Noon rule because I hadn't eaten anything since lunch and I figured that the tomato juice would make it more like a meal.) There were a lot of introductions and hugging and yes, even smoking. Maxwell and I reminisced (read: gossiped) about Spring, Texas and I think there was screaming. Vince Chao, our fifth roommate for the weekend, wanted to go up to our room, 705, and play the guitar so we all trudged up there. AB, genius that she is, brought a bottle of Yellow Tail and two of my redheaded angels, Dawnie and Rebekah (Kate made up the trio), came down with a bottle of Tito's. Before I knew it there were over a dozen people in the room and with the arrival of Emily it was officially a par-tay. Rebekah and I volunteered to go for ice and mixers (read $1.25 Sprites) and as we were walking back down the hall to the room we saw two hotel security guys/managers (who upon retelling of the story over the weekend morphed into "cops") knocking on our door. Now people, I know we were being loud but it was a. Friday and b. well before midnight. They told me that if there was another complaint we'd be kicked out, so the general consensus was that we should move the festivities back to the lobby/bar area. Luckily, there were lots of open chairs and big couches so we took over the downstairs. Vince, Al and AB had a sing-along and I got to know the Redheaded angels over vodka. A lot of people starting mumbling something about a guy named "Arlie Herme" who was the drill sergeant in Full Metal Jacket. I know that Chris Huff just fell over after reading that, but I had no idea who he was. Did that stop me from going over there and plopping down next to him? No, it did not. (Later AB looked him, R. Lee Ermey, up on imdb.com for me and the only movie I remembered him from was Saving Silverman. This says a lot about me.) I tried to order a vodka tonic from the bar but the guy kept giving me gin and tonic. Twice. A few other people tried with the same result. I really don't like gin, but I think I drank it anyway. Dawnie came over to the Drill Sergeant circle and tried to tell us a story but kept interrupting herself with her own hiccups. Plus, as we'd been in the room for awhile, she and Tyger were both running around in bare feet and their PJs. It totally felt like what would've happened if we'd all gone to Washington D.C. in together in the 8th grade without chaperones. And if we'd been teenage alcoholics. I have no recollection or idea why or when we called it a night, but the residents of 705 all called it a night together. Vince crafted himself a bed out of a chair, two cushions and a comforter. Totally genius. We giggled and laughed for hours before finally falling asleep and Vince remarked that it was like he was privy to a slumber party. Now he knows the truth - there are no pillow fights or negligees. In reality slumber parties involve oversized tees, laughing till you snort and stupid jokes. (When Al couldn't understand something she actually said "I pulled a Hannah." Evidently I'm the Jessica Simpson.) And in the morning Master V was crowned with a new nickname: Chairman Chao. I was in the shower when Al and AB thought of it and I could hear them screaming about their brilliance. Because, it is so brilliant. The Chairman has risen. The panels were panels, and after spending the three previous days attending work panels I have to say that I'm pretty proud of myself for only skipping one. Plus, the "Everything you Wanted to Know" panel started off with bloody marys (and it was well before noon so I appreciated it) and as I-Girl pointed out, Hair of the Dog always works. The day felt long, even though it was over in a beat. I did a lot of running up to the room and down and around and at one point, when I was sans name tag, I saw Eliza at the elevator. I introduced myself and we squealed and hugged, but sadly I barely saw her again after that. For that, I'm sorry. She is, of course, as gorgeous and sweet as I expected a girl from Baton Rouge to be. All day I feeling nervous about the MATH+1 dinner at Iron Cactus, mostly because I wanted to make sure everyone knew when and where we were meeting and I was hoping everyone who'd RSVP'd would go and that anyone who didn't and still wanted to attend would come along. For a large group, it actually went really well. Of course after my yearlong recent waitressing stint I totally felt for the servers as I wouldn't have wanted to wait on us, but they did a great job. And those nerves were just my Little Miss Bossy tendency rearing its ugly head. Also, we were promised a table for 30 on the roof and instead they set us up for 25 inside. Other than that, it was excellent. As it usually happens with a large group, it broke down into smaller groups having their own conversations. I spent the meal talking with maxwell and her husband E, Montykins, Gael, Chiara and Sundry, which was perfect. We talked about everything from serious stuff like divorce to our silly journals and digital cameras. Plus should I ever go to Seattle I know have lots of places to stay. (As I just invite myself to crash with them.) After dinner several of the MATHletes went to the special Jcon event that Omar had organized at the Hideout. I heard it was really hilarious, but I stayed behind at the Iron Cactus to finish my margarita, talk and take photos. During the dinner Al was given the guitar that a group of people bought her through Operation Axe, so before we went off to karaoke she needed to take it back to the hotel. The walk back was the only real time I got to talk to Erin at all, which is a total shame. At least we had the walk up Brazos (Congress? 7th? I have no idea). We hung out in 705 and killed time by jamming (with Vince Chao there it's always a jam) and drinking. (Earlier in the day Kate, Rebekah and I had walked to a liquor store for supplies. I stupidly bought a huge bottle of Tito's when I could've just gotten a pint. So I ended up giving the half-full bottle to AB when we all left on Sunday.) Mary told me about the ATL boy she wants to set me up with and I'm all about that. On our way back to Sixth Street we ran into Rob and gang and we all sort of walked together to Crocodile Rock, the karaoke bar we were about to take over. The location couldn't have been better. The karaoke was set up in the back on the patio, which meant we were outside and could be even louder than usual. There's no way to recapture the magic of the night, so I'll just say it was amazing. I felt like I was in church because I kept jumping to my feet and raising my hands. I think I also bruised myself from slapping my leg and stomping my feet so hard. I-Girl's rendition of "Proud to Be An American" is already infamous and the phrase United States of Awesome will undoubtedly entrench itself in the Internet lexicon. Omar's version of "Lady" was already infamous and I feel lucky to have finally seen it in person. And I just want to say that I was as shocked by the Bra Flinging as I'm sure the rest of you are. Then again, I can understand how Omar elicits that kind of reaction when he's on-stage making love to the microphone. I can't possibly write about all the karaoke because it was all so genius. I say that totally sincerely. White girls singing "Gin and Juice" to Monty doing a spoken word version of "Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" to Mary and her shouting "You can't burn down the Internet!" from the stage. All awesome. And you know how seriously I take my karaoke. We shut the place down and I was horse before Tyger and I even walked out the back alley into the River of Pee. It was after two in the morning before we made it back to the hotel, so of course the Omni bar was closed. As much as I would've liked to have rallied After Hours, I could barely stay awake for the Room 705 Laugh-In as it was. Vince was making me laugh so hard that I thought I might choke on an gross hotel pillow. Al literally fell on the ground. After the ab workout of laughter I couldn't take it anymore. I just zzzzzzzzz. I apologized the next morning to M Giant for passing out while he was talking. I'm a snoozer. As much as I wanted to go to the Texas readings and the Blog/Journal panel on Sunday, my dad and I had previously made arrangements to meet up for lunch. We went to Threadgill's for the best Sunday brunch ever (complete with live gospel singers) and then we walked around the Zilker Park Botanical Gardens for an hour or so. Though brief, it was very good to see him. I didn't get to say good-bye to anyone and for that I am, of course, sorry. Just know that I'm so glad to have met all of you and I loved sharing two days in my beloved Texas with the Internet. Here's to 2004.
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