22
August 2002
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I really like opening the restaurant. It's quiet and almost holy, the way things are so still and calm before the rush. Your first few tables trickle in and you're relaxed as you get their sweet tea and key in their orders. You have extra time to talk to them, or to gossip with the line cooks or other servers, early for their shifts, in the alley. As you wait for your food to come up you steal french fries and dip them in ranch dressing and pretend like this isn't the way you make a living, it's just what you do for fun. I opened both lunch and dinner yesterday, which meant that I was there for almost twelve hours. I did get a short break in between that I used to go to the bank and walk Montego. She yelled at me to bring home some bacon as I ran back out the door. Actually it was more like "Hey! Bring home some bac. . . zzzzzzzzzz." My new favorite manager, Ray, was working dinner and it's always nice when there's someone there who's laid back and just lets things run. I heard him talking in Jamaican patois to the head cook, George, and they were discussing the Civics test you have to take to become an American citizen. I asked him if he was from Jamaica and he said yes, and I told him I could tell from his accent and that I'd been there. "It was during Spring Break in college. I went to Montego Bay. In fact, that's how my dog got her name - Montego." He raised his eyebrows and said "Well you must've had fun if you named your dog after the place. Should I dig out my video tapes?" "I'm sure I'm not on them. Well . . . pretty sure." It's key to be on your way out of the alley when you say these things. Later when I was quizzing him about the US flag I told him that I knew what the colors in the Jamaican flag meant. "Yellow is for the
Sun. Red is for . . ." "There is no red." "Um, Green is for the grass. . ." "Green is for the mountains." "Whatever. There was rum!" He and George started asking me if I had "fun" while I was there (I don't remember exactly what they asked, but their real meaning was obvious) and I quickly said "Uh, no." "What - you don't date black guys? "What?" "Well, the way you quickly said 'No' I figured you meant that you didn't hook up with any black guys while you were there." "What? No. I just meant that I wasn't a Spring Break Ho." (Another comment that is better left hanging in the air as you walk out onto the floor.) I had pretty good tables last night too, which helps your shift go faster and lets you actually enjoy what you're doing. There was a family out for the mom's 58th birthday and they'd brought in their own cake to celebrate. As I was dropping off their check the mom asked me if I'd like a piece of cake. I said no thank you, but finally conceded. After I took it she said "That's your tip!" I must've had a look of terror on my face because they all quickly chimed in with, "Kidding! Kidding!" It's people like that who make up for the assfaces who leave $40 when their bill is $37.89. Don't be an assface. (And they also made up for the two ladies I had at lunch who shared a chicken tender salad. Did I mention that they were both pregnant? Yeah, I'll bring you some more bread. In hell!) After I was cut and got my money together I went back to the office to turn it in to Ray. I sat down as he counted my cash due and he said "There's just something about you." "What, like I'm trouble?" "Yeah, something like that." Heh. Little does he know.
The notify likes their meat medium rare.
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