20 November 2001
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My desk at work is littered with little yellow pieces of paper. Some of them are covered in doodles, others have phone numbers or lists on them. I'm constantly stealing stickies from miranda because she always has them in fun colors like hot pink and neon green. I'm a Post-It fiend. But it's usually the things I don't write down that I need to remember most. Today's your lucky day - welcome to the Post-Its in my mind. s Next time your most favorite jeans get a hole in the thigh, and you refuse to throw them away, don't. Just get rid of them. Don't wear them to work with a pair of longjohns on underneath. I know it's cold outside, but you'll feel like a big fatty fat because your jeans don't quite fit like they used to, and you can't really handle the extra layer. And since the denim is low rise and your longjohns aren't you're going to be paranoid all day. Just don't do it. s Write your brother more often. He's the only one you've got. s Just because you haven't officially said that you quit your novel doesn't mean that you're not a quitter. You still are, missy. So either finish the story or admit you're a quitter. s Finish the story. You know there's more to say. s Take in your dry cleaning. I know it's easy to pretend like they're not there when all your sweaters are stuffed in the trunk and you don't really have room in the closet anyway, but your favorite wrap is in there. You miss it. s Make your Christmas gift list. Put Mo and miranda on it even though you all said you'd just do dinner instead. Can't not buy them gifts! s Stop looking at the Coach leather jacket. You can't afford it. No, shhh, no, I know it's the softest leather and you want to lick it, but no. s See if you can find a photo online of the Million Cow March (there were only 150,000 of them - ba dum bum) off Interstate Five in Central California. s Don't even entertain the thought of driving to Chicago for one night. It's six hours. Siiiiix. Plus, you hate to drive. It's more fun when someone else is behind the wheel and you can ooh and aaah at the ranch of cows that goes on for miiiiiles. ("That's all of McDonald's right there!") s Stop buying the ready made cookie dough. This isn't college (even though now you actually bake them) and they don't even make low fat anymore! s Never drink that much beer again. Ever. Because the next time you take a $40 cab ride better be when the cab is also called a limo and you're now a movie star. You're lucky there are no more OSU home games. Your liver is now in retirement. (Along with Bellisari's you hope.) s Start eating better. The tummy's about to go on strike. s Quit dreaming about puppies. You are not getting another dog. And while we're talking about it, knock it off with the baby dreams too. s While you may get points for no longer carrying the credit card around in your wallet, said points get negated when you have the store look up your number. s You will not, I repeat, you will not buy any Christmas decorations this year. You're allowed to buy a tree, cards and gifts for other people. It's not right that your decoration collection rivals that of your 58-year-old mother, even if a big chunk of it is inherited from her. It's pretty in my little world. Oh look - lights!
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